My Paper Life

Happy Birthday Sweetheart

2012-02-07T07:23:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to me. I am officially turned 22 today. Honestly, I don't feel a year older at all. I stopped feeling a year older when I was 16. Thats gona make me feel like I'm gonna always be forever sweet 16...lol...Its a state of mind people, makes you look younger...true story

So, I paid my fair share of turning 22 last night when the girls rained on my parade with hard-shell eggs and glistening powders of flour. It happened before on my 20th birthday, so I wasn't really shocked nor taken aback, I just enjoyed the moments as they came. After all. I vehemently believed I deserved it.

It seems like it was only yesterday that I turned 21, time flies so fast these days you have no idea you're getting older. I won't be surprise when times finally caught up with me when I turn 40 and I still feel like it was only yesterday that I turned 16. Today, at class I was taken back by memories of the same date last year. Where I was and what I was doing. Finally, I can say that there's is a huge difference of where I was and what I was doing last year and where I am and what I'm doing now. I feel like I'm making a different in my life, making it better than those of the yesteryears.

Looking back however, I have no rues or remorse for all the things I've been through growing up. I thank God for every opportunities provided to me and always I pray for more to come my way. I wish that I will be given opportunities to celebrate more birthdays in the future and I live long enough to celebrate the birthdays of my future children if I ever have one...or two..

And I also wish that as time passes I get to make more and more friends along the way to celebrate this one glorious day of my life in the future with sheer joy and happiness. Last, I would like to thank everyone who wished me Happy Birthday and celebrated it with much anticipation and enthusiasm, really guys, I appreciate it very much. Thank you...

The Hunger Games

2012-02-02T10:12:00.000-08:00

I did it!!! I finished it. Nop, I'm not on a hunger strike you silly. I meant I finished reading the trilogy in 4 days. Alright, if you seemed lost then let me tell you, The Hunger Games is a novel written by Suzanne Collins. It consisted of 3 series altogether The Hunger Games, Catching Fire and Mockingjay. Usually, generally, I'm not normally up for series novel since I find it a struggle to stay tuned. But somehow I gave this one an exception. Initially because of all the good reviews it gotten plus a movie made based on the book of the same title, but eventually because it got me hooked on it.

The first two were exceptionally good but the last one was a bit dull but the ending made up for it. I love the ending. Although I'm not quite a fan of love triangle but good thing that Suzanne didn't put a major eyes-soaring spotlight focusing on the romance but instead focusing more on the real issues that made up the whole plot. That was what kept me going. If anyone plan on reading it, I'll highly recommend though I must warn that this is a young adult novel. If you one that expect more grown-ups kinda stuff, you won't find it in this book. This one good for a layback kinda reading.

The movie will be played by Jennifer Lawrence as the main role. If anyone going to play Katniss I couldn't imagine anyone playing it but Lawrence. She is the perfect embodiment of adversities so I bet its gonna be a good one. Can't wait to see the movie.

Happy Birthday Mom

2012-01-23T06:24:00.000-08:00

Today is my mother's birthday. Though I can't make it home for the party but I did manage to send home a present. My mom is officially 49 years old today. Already she had 2 grand-daughters and a hell of a stable life. She was married when she was just 19 and had a son (my brother) when she was 20. My mother was a full-time housewife. When my father was still a police, my mother was the one holding his ATM card. All his money was in my mother's hand. But just like a vow that they made, they stick together through thick and thin.

My mother's life wasn't all lavish and comfortable. She was born in a poor family but very much loving, especially her father. She used to tell me how my late grandfather spoilt her with unconditional love that she would never forget and poverty didn't struck her as something to suffer about as she received enough love to last a lifetime. And that made me very jealous cos my father was not really a family-man kinda father but I'm content.

Her whole life, my mother never did a hard day's job but still, my mother is considered very fortunate. She is a good bussiness person and she loves to cook. She made the best spaghetti in the whole town. Although I know she loves my kid brother more than any of us but I know she is proud of me more than anyone else.

Now enough of my mother's history and detail. Now I would like to make her wish for my beloved mother. And here it goes,

Ma, I pray to God everyday for your good health and long life. I pray for your joy and happiness. I hope on this beautiful day that you've got to celebrate for the 49th time, you'll have fun and be at peace in the warm embrace of the people who love you. I hope to be there but I can't. Last but not least, I wish you love mother for I love you so very much though I rarely say it doesn't mean I don't.

That's all I guess...take care now...

I Seriously Miss You Too

2012-01-14T23:05:00.000-08:00

Hahaha, Jalil posted that on my facebook wall...I seriously miss everyone back home. I wish I could go back but I couldn't. Guess I've got to wait til June or July when I will finally can step on the soil of my homeland and be in the embrace of the people I loved and cared about. Damn! How I long for those moments.

I miss my previous life but knowing that this is my life now, I am content. Home, I miss you...

A Lil' Angst Won't Do Any Harm

2012-01-11T08:55:00.000-08:00

How do you feel when you like someone but that someone likes your friend? If its me, I'll feel terrible. I will not feel angry or jealous ( a little maybe) but most of all I'll feel sorry for myself. I'll feel like I don't worth a thing.

And sometimes I just wanna scream to people why they have to make my life a living hell eventhough they haven't done anything. The truth is, I am angry at life itself.

So far that I have been living for the past 22 years of my not-so-glorious life, I have never felt good about myself. You know the feeling of incomplete and emptiness filling up the cavity of your soul, like you'll never be good enough to be noticed or to be liked back by someobe you have feelings for.

Always I am jealous when certain friends effortlessly get to be the centre of attentions of people whereas I on the other hand, had to struggle to get noticed. Then I questioned myself, why life has to be so unfair? And my dear, I have been asking that question since God knows when and up untill now I have got no real answer.

I will keep asking myself the same question untill I die and still get no answer..

Rejection

2012-01-10T09:22:00.000-08:00

How do you feel if you start a conversation ( with hope to make a connection eventhough it was silly to do so) with someone via facebook chat but that someone doesn't reply you?

I felt sheer embarassment when that happened to me. Truth be told, I never start a conversation with someone that I have feelings for. I'm just not that conident myself but I don't know this time around I had the courage to make a move, which ends disasterously when that someone didn't reply back. Damn, I felt stupid...GOD!!! Why did I do it?!!!

I swear I'll never do it again even if it means I'll have to grow old without ever be in a relationship. I just couldn't take another rejection, I seriously could die..

Booklist

2012-01-09T06:33:00.000-08:00

I remembered I've always start the new year with a list of books I'm going to read. Last year I remembered I had a list of 5 books of which I'd only finished 3 of them...Lets just say I couldn't find time to finish them all.

Hence, this year there is another list. A list of which I wish I could finish. Since I'm using Ipad 2 now. all the books are in the form of epub ebook. So much easier, so much more convenient. I can read them anywhere anytime. That's the beauty of using a tablet I'm telling you.

Among the books I have in my Ibook shelves are of course from my all-time favorite author, Mr. King. Then, there are some too from New York best-selling authors. Best thing is, all the books I've gotten for my shelve are FREE. Seriously, they are free. I spent not a dime on a single book, though I don't mind spending any for books but of course if I can get them for free, that's even better innit?

Right now, I have already started on Handle With Care by Jodi Picoult and right now is semester break and I'm not going home due to some financial crisis and some undone paperwork.So prolly I'll be coming home next semester break.

Thus, I'm going to spent this whole semester break on reading, hopefully...
Here's the picture of my Ibook shelve:

She's a beauty innit?

Drama

2012-01-03T23:47:00.000-08:00

I've always thimk the world would be a better place if eveyone works out their differences and make peace with each other rather than grabbing at each other's throats.

And I've thought older people knew better and hence act better than any of us silly young people could ever do. But what happened a day before yesterday clearly proved me wrong.

There was this one guy, whom I knew at Jengka and whom I used to respect as a senior as well as my superior in the commitee, though we were never close. I was a bit thrilled to learn that he'll be flying with me to this place and we even sat side by side in the flight. It was not until we have settled for a month or so at this place that I've learned his true colour.

The guy Whom I thought had a good credibility, pristine sense of judgement with excellent leadership proved to be not more than a piece of horse shit. His actions, the words he wrote the other day in Facebook only proved that he is the perfect example of an egomaniac self-centered son of a bitch.

I've always had a good sense in judging people personality but I guessed I was wrong this time. I tried to bury my ongoing abhorrence toward him and eventually I almost excell but the other really brought it up. Now everyone hates him, though not as much as I do. And one of my friend even counter the words he posted in Facebook with much rage and anger. He got scared I think, real scared.

You had it coming boy, now go deal with it yourself...

A Little Pray For You

2012-01-01T23:54:00.000-08:00

You know what, I'm not gonna put any effort in finding my future soulmate. I'm just gonna let it come naturally. I've always believed if it meant to happen then it will happen eventually.

Yesterday I saw Brokeback Mountain (for what must have been the 100th time), I never realized this before but somehow it got me thinking yesterday about how their relationship had taken toll on their lives. How Ennis stay faithful till the end (not to mention how much I missed Heath, god bless his soul). It was kinda disgusting in the middle but it got really touching throughout the end. It took us to experience love at every different angle and I felt it. I mean not in the homo way...come on!

I won't say that I condone that kind of relationship and I won't say I am hard-core against it. Well, sometimes people are just different you know. You can't always expect everyone to turned out the way you did or the way most people did. Because then, the world would be awefully boring.

My stand is, if you're happy, why give a flying fuck about what others might say? But if you turned out unhappy in the future, don't come crawling back to those people you don't give a flying fuck about. Simple innit?

The one that got away

2012-01-01T07:28:00.000-08:00

How do you start a conversation with someone you like? I've always find it a struggle to make a move on the guy I like. Prolly because I'm not that confident with myself.

Had a talk with me old pal, Tania. She asked me if there's any guy hot guys here at my place. I said yea there's a few but not really my type. Told her I'm looking for a husband kinda material..guess, thats me been a grown up.

I like this one guy, enough said he's a senior. I think he knows me, maybe not my name but he knows I do exist. We talked before but not heavy stuff...just some hye's and bye's.

Now the problem is I want to make more connection with this guy. I mean even if it will not lead to a relationship, it might at least lead to friendship. Thing is I' m too afraid that if I make the first move it'll make me look desperate. I surely don't want that, not in this place of which I'm going to spend my 5 years life at.

So, what should I do? Should i just leave it be, like I always do and nothing comes out of it. And I'll be all pathetic like I always are...God, why life has to be so complicated?

Happy New Year

2011-12-31T04:01:00.000-08:00

Wow...I'm about to enter year 2012...I never thought I'll live this long....(now, that's a poor classic lie, I always know I'm going to live this long).

Now here's the part everyone loves. The part when I traced back all the things I've done, all the sins I would rather it stay unspoken, all the secrets that I would prefer to be unrevealed, all the good things that I've done that I would love to be acknowledged of...well, lets just say I'm not gonna do that again this time.

Its boring when you do the same thing again and again. Besides, I know no one is reading this but even if you happened to read this you can simply trace back the footprints of my recent life by clicking on 'older post' button ( though I seldom update this blog nowadays due to time-deprived condition that I am experiencing right now, hope you understand)

And...I'm not going to talk about my long-term life plan for this upcoming new year like I always do but instead I'm going to talk about my short-term plan that I will most definitely execute, by hook or by crook. So here it goes :

Second, third and fourth days of new year is reserved for UAS (ujian akhir semester) after that is semester break..yay!
for the rest of the month would be reserved to let me have time getting my head straight, re-energized my body, re-planning everything, re-connect with people I've lost contact with, re-schedule the next break ( cos that'll mean I'll be coming home), scouting for house, and basically get everything done. And re-activate this blog again...so expect to see more updates this new year.

Thats it for now, I gotta go study...bye fellas and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

2011-11-30T07:31:00.000-08:00

I know I've been gone for quite sometimes now but I have a perfect reason why. I'm doing medicine for God's sake. I'm bound to be busy and that my friend, is something that I signed up for.
No, I'm not complaining but all I'm asking at leat spare me a time to catch me breath cos I'm seriously out of one.
The rules and traditions in this so-called one of the oldest universities in Indonesia don't make it any easier. Every year they have this orientation activities for freshmen organized by seniors and it does not last for a week like any other universities, these Neanderthals make it last for at least one semester. Some extreme cases even lasted for a year.
Guess what we went through in this orientation?
Sheer tortures and pure self-embarassment, not to mention how exhausted it was to stay in a crowded class from 7 am to 6pm listening to people screaming, yelling hysterically at ya for no good reason.

Their point of doing so : to make a better doctor out of ya
I went like, you kidding me right?
And then there were what they called pre-face tasks before coming to orientation (which was evey weekends). In this tasks, they'll have you do something unreasonable and useless. The point of doing so : just to flat you out and torture you. I went without sleep this one time just to finish the stupid task. If you don't finish the task on time, rest assured there'll be consequences and its not gonna be a good one.

The most idiotic thing was this uncivilized activity does actually hold one credit hour and if you decide to skip it(like many of our seniors did) you're gonna have problems later on.

The newest task they've just given is to find 400 signatures of seniors from 2nd year onward in one week. They're really went above their heads this time.
I'm just gonna ignore it cos I hardly find it relevant...

Graduation

2011-10-24T05:45:00.000-07:00

My convocation ceremony is on this Thursday. Like expected, I will not be able to make a grand appearance due to my being here. But its alright, I'm going to make a request to delay so that I can go next year instead of this year. Its just a matter of time and I guess it will not be the same without those whom I fought my 3 years battle with.

I hope those people have a blast on that beautiful glorious day....

Now I am Somewhere

2011-10-15T03:03:00.000-07:00

Last couple of years, whenever I open my facebook and decided to stalk other people's lives it wasn't joy that I'd gained at the end of the stalking session, it was heartache. It was disappointment that I felt toward my own self when I see other people doing so well with their lives and living in some fancy foreign countres while myself still stuck in some shitty pit doing a course nobody knows about. But still looking back, I don't have any regret cos living there (Jengka) taught me lessons of life that I wouldn't get anywhere else.

But now when I open my facebook and do some undercover stalking, I feel good cos I am doing something at somewhere now. I can actually put myself on the same par as those people. Even though this place that I'm at now is not as fancy as theirs and I can say that I am living in one of the world's toughest place and it does test me both physically and mentally but guess what? That's life, my life. I can atleast tell other people about my experiences living in this country. It makes me stronger.

I remember last couple of years, whenever people asked me about the course I'm studying at the moment I will hesitate to answer, afraid that they will make a blank/blur face cos they never heard about it before. But now, when people ask I will proudly say I'm doing medicine and in 5 years time (or so) I'm gonna be a doctor.

Doing medicine is quite tough enough, surviving this place is another story. And if you stay tune, I might tell you the story...

Before Soon

2011-10-02T06:37:00.000-07:00

Its been awhile since I last wrote an entry in this virtual diary of mine. Well...nothing exceptional nor bizarre has been happening thus, nothing much to update.

This is my second month being in this foreign land and I am glad to announce officially that I am so over the 'homesick' phase. See, I told ya, it was just a phase. Just like anything else in life...they're just phases that you'd go through. Nothing serious, trust me.

And yeah, this is my second week of using an Ipad 2. See, I bought it last 2 weeks. It was grand and fanciful alright but I'm not quite devoted to the whole function of it's being. I mean not yet, and I found that piece of gadget that costed me about 2.7k is pretty much useless without a stable internet connection and the internet connection here is the worst I've ever came across. Yet, I'm still learning to adjust myself to make full use of it all...in time I will, hopefully.

Things are getting busier and tougher each day. I'm still adjusting...I hope soon I'll be fully adjusted to the idea of being here for the next 5 years. Hope it won't take long before soon...

Its Not a Wishful Thinking Anymore

2011-09-20T05:11:00.000-07:00

I'm buying an Ipad 2 this weekend...most definitely. Well, maybe I mean if nothing goes wrong that is.

I, myself couldn't believe my luck. I mean I've thought about buying a tablet and I'm practically thorn between Samsung and Apple. I never thought I would have it this soon.

My old laptop been giving me tantrum since the first day we'd arrived in this place. I've been giving me mom a hint of my desire to buy a new one. She keeps stalling and giving me excuses when finally my old laptop gave me one huge bitch slap across me face, telling me its time.

Then I texted me mom saying I really need to buy a new laptop, saying I'll pay her back once I get my allowances. Then she said, fine. And I was like, I'm so buying Ipad 2 but she didn't know that of course.

She'll bank-in the money this Thursday and on Saturday I'll be on my way to buy it, Hopefully, everything goes as smoothly as I hope it will...

Songs of Our Friendships

2011-09-13T04:02:00.000-07:00

A month has gone by. Everyone seems to be moving on with their lives. I still feel miserable about mine. I know that this is what I've always wanted but I just couldn't find solace about my being here in this place.

Often I have been taken back by the memories of my life for the past 3 years. I made alot of friends back then and there were some that I treasured the most. This is the story of one. Well, I never said this out loud but she and me are good friends. In fact, she is my bestfriend. She is someone that I can talk to just about anything. We even shared the same taste in music and in men. She is someone that I found solace within when things are just too unbearable to handle alone. She is someone that I shared stupid jokes with and laughed about it like they were nobody's business.

Most significantly, we've shared many of our wildest dreams together. Dreams that not many can relate to but us. Dreams that don't make sense to many but we keep on believing, Dreams that crazy enough that they made us forget about our current problems. Dreams that we will give anything in the world to make it a reality but we'd have nothing to give and there goes our wildest dreams.

You might not believe it but those crazy dreams that we both shared sometimes brought me a feeling of comfort. Remember this one time when we were in our sophomore semester? We had a camping activity with the seniors at the little hill behind the campus? Do you remember mate how tensed we were, how pressurized we were cos we didn't like it a bit. I remember I was so riled up about it the you came and said ' Don't get so worked up about it. Lets look at the bright side. We can lay on the grass, on top of the hill during night time and look at the stars. Then we can sing Yellow from Coldplay and then its just gonna be you and me against the world.

Surrpisingly, I felt better afterwards and I actually was looking forward to that even but unfortunately it got cancelled out. And there went one of our wildest dreams. Not long after that came The Calling era of our friendship's live. Remember how we tried to translate the song in our own version? Remember how we sang it out loud just for the hell of it. Remember how we dreamed to be married to Alex Band? That was funny. Remember that we used to have a button custom-made with the band's name all over it just for the love of the band. You'd lost it.

Of course like of all friendships, ours have it's ups and downs. But still I am glad that we remained friends throughout those dark days. Now that we both had taken different ways and that we're no longer going to see each other as often as we did back then I just hope we never lost contact. I wish you all the best mate and I hope one day, someday we'll make it real. Those crazy wild dreams, we'll be there mate. Just keep on believing. Miss ya...

Cadaver

2011-09-07T07:29:00.000-07:00

This week we learn about anatomy. So, during lab hour we get to study on cadaver. Well, it was nothing much. All we did was just looked at it. We barely touched it. The cadaver seemed pretty old, all the veins and muscles and flesh had undergone serious decomposition.

I get to touched it, using glove of course. I know I shouldn't felt the way I did but I just wonder about the person the cadaver once was when he/she was still alive then I felt sad cos it has turned out this way. I know its for good purposes and I thank God for every chance I had to have come this far.

Can't say I enjoy studying the cadaver though...

Opposite of Sloth

2011-09-03T08:30:00.000-07:00

The first assignment as a medical student was to write essay a whole lot about Public Health. Between 200-300 words I know I can nail this with eyes close. Here comes the problem.

I first wrote it in English. Then I went on facebook, in the Groups they said it was supposed to be in BI (Bahasa Indonesia). I cringed. How do you expect an international student to write an essay in a language she/he never even learned of?

But then being extra hardworking and being able as I would like to be, I translated those writings into the language that is required of me. So fine, I got done with it and so stupid of me, I deleted the one I wrote in English and just kept the one in BI.

Soon, the rumours came buzzing in like they were bound to and they weren't pretty. The rumor was the essay should be written in English instead. I went like what the fuck? I was so sure I have kept the one I wrote in English and being positive I told myself, worry not mate, you had it both ways.

Turned out be, I deleted it and so here I am, re-writing the essay in English. Thanks God i don't hate writing so much...

Dwell

2011-09-02T04:13:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it is easier or shall I say cozier to just dwell on the comfort of the past than to move on in the adversity of the present. Being away from home isn’t something new for me. I’ve been doing it regularly since I was 17. Even so, each time I find it as difficult and as troublesome as the last time. I know that I’ll grow out of it and that I will adapt myself just fine eventually but the first few months or maybe the first few years gonna be the hardest.

There’ll be times when I was feeling awfully miserable I started questioning myself am I doing the right thing? If I am then why don’t I feel like it? But 10 minutes after that I came right to my senses and I realized that I am doing the right thing. Times like this took me back to those days when I was in Jengka. How I treasured those moments of my life and how I wished I showed the right amount of appreciation that it deserved when I had the chance.

Those days of my life, they ain’t coming back and that I’m sure of. When I’m feeling really miserable my memories took me back to those days, to those people that I used to have a lot of fun with. Now looking back, I’m glad I don’t feel any anger or remorse or any disappointment for the things I’ve done or for the people I came acquainted with or for all the experiences that I’ve gained. They were all.. oh so beautiful. All the laughter we shared, all those tears we brought upon each other, all the burden that we carried for each other, the bonds we weaved together all those years, all the worries, all the happiness and all the memories, they weren’t recorded in papers, or in voice tape and certainly not in any video cameras. But hey, fret not. They were all here, recorded perfectly in my mind and kept meticulously in my heart. I can access them anytime anywhere I like.

When I am taken aback by life, often these memories bring me back forth. How I long I could turn back time and go back to those times where life seemed so much better and brighter. But time for closing book has come and I know I need to move on. It’ll be hard and bitter but it’s a definite measure and we all have to do it, one way or the other. And like everything else, times will solve everything for me...

First Time

2011-08-30T05:05:00.000-07:00

This is the first time in my 20 years of life to celebrate the Eid in a foreign land away from me parents and family. The feelings of regrets, sadness, loneliness made it a thousand times worst

Definitely this something new for me and I know right know I don't feel it as something special, I rather give all that I have in the world to catch that last flight home just to be there in the warmth embrace of the people I knew and cared so much. But being a grown up that I am now, I know its a sacrifice I have to make for a promise of a better future.

The time difference doesn't do any good either. The Malaysians celebrate Eid today, but the Indonesians will celebrate the Eid the day after. Come to think of it, it doesn't make much different to me.

Called me mom today, tried me best to hold back the tears. Can't let her know I'm actually deteriorating and I told her everything was fine. Really looking forward to the day that I would finally return home after some times. Can't wait for that...

Right now, I just have to suck it and deal with it. After all, looking at the bright side, it wasn't that bad. I've been in worst...so there's a good chance I'll survive just fine...

Anyway, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri everone. I plead for forgiveness from each and everyone that I've hurt all this time. I certainly didn't mean to...

What Up?

2011-08-22T05:42:00.001-07:00

Sorry folks for the late updates but it has been awful busy here in this new place. Well...to start it off...lets just say I am neither suffering nor enjoying myself in here. I'm getting there though and that's gonna be pretty soon so yeah, wait for it.

I am on my 3rd week now and I am adjusting myself quite fine so far. The first class for the semester starts today and tomorrow we actually have a quiz. Can you believe that? There are things or shall I say shits that I have to deal with in order to survive in here. I try to keep my mind as optimistic as I possibly can but sometimes there are storms I just can't weather.

The homesickness in kicking in pretty awful but I remind myself that I am too old to be homesick and then it goes back to normal. Its pretty amazing how a strong convincing state of mind can help you survive.

Enough said....lets devour you with some pictures shall we?

This is the front view of the hostel

The lobby

My small kitchen

I wake up to this view every morning

2011-08-22T05:42:00.000-07:00

Enough said....lets devour you with some pictures shall we?

This is the front view of the hostel

The lobby

My small kitchen

I wake up to this view every morning

Still Rocking It

2011-08-07T06:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday night went out with April and Tania. It was for the last time before I'm leaving for Indonesia tomorrow. Gonna miss you much people...

LOve you guys so much...hope we we see each other again in the future. And Brit, I'll let you know if I have a bf...i promise...lol

The Hardest Thing

2011-08-05T08:34:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving home in 2 days. I probably not gonna come back as often as I did last time when I was doing my diploma. But thats alright, cos I'm prepared for that

There'll be a moment in life where you found yourself in an intersection, any path that you choose you'll be at the point of no return.

For me, this is my point of no return. I know that I've always wanted to do this all my life and that it has brought me a bundle of joy that I finally got to do it. But you know, there's a little piece in the deep dark insecure corner of my heart telling me that I probably gonna regret this.

No one said its gonna be easy and I sure as hell know its gonna be a bumpy ride. I just pray to God that in 10 or 20 years time, if I decide to look back on this very day I won't look back in remorse or in regrets that I've taken this path and not the other.

Oh God, give me strength for I need it more now than ever...

Last Night

2011-08-03T08:32:00.000-07:00

I would like to make it official, for once and for all...that I will be leaving on a jet plane to Indonesia this coming Monday. I'm going to stay there for 5 years, studying medicine.

So last night I thought before I'm leaving I would have a final hang out with my friends. Top blokes those guys and we hung out at Mamak until 1.10 in the morning. There were lots of things we talked about. From movies to politics, it was definitely a hell of a hang out.

I am rather uncertain but I have a strong feelings I wouldn't have the chance to hang out like this again with them for the next five years. Although we will definitely be in touch with each other through facebook and stuff but I'm gonna miss them for sure.

Thanks guys for last night, the cakes were awesome! You guys were awesome...wish me luck and I wish the same back. Hope our friendship would never have to die regardless the distance. Thanks for everything...

The Eye of The Beholder

2011-07-31T08:27:00.000-07:00

Ever heard folks said beauty is in the eye of the beholder? Can anyone please tell what that supposed to mean cos I am as clueless as the next girl.

The way I see it and the way I comprehend it,I don't know if its even right but when folks said that it means you are beautiful if you, yourself feels like it. Is that right? I couldn't possibly tell for sure.

I'm not beautiful, I know that and I don't need no fools come telling me things that I already know. However, not everyone think of beauty the same way. Some people think women with curves are beautiful while others may not. There are also people that don't give crap about looks.

Most guys, they usually went for the looks. Some people said looks can't guarantee no happiness but if its uncertain, you might as well just go for it and take your chances. At least, you would have a chance to brag about your beautiful girlfriend infront of your buddies.

I mean, I myself would go for the look. No girls in their right mind wouldn't fall for this:

Or this:

And this

Or perhaps, this

I know, I know...don't say it. I know I have a good taste in men. Unfortunately, men don't have a good taste in me...lol.

So, the conclusion is...I like good looking men...who doesn't? I would not be wrong if I said guys would love good looking girls a thousand times more. No guys in their right mind would resist this:

Or this

And this

What I'm trying to say is...it is human nature to fall in love with beauty. What we see, more often than not, is what we love. So yeah,,,its great to have good looking boyfriends/girlfriends and truth be told I have none...lol

A Drag Queen of Mine

2011-07-25T08:28:00.000-07:00

My sister is known to have a long list of socio-troublesome set of friends. She had a whore friends, a gay friends, drug lord friends, thugs and thieves, school-dropouts, preggers and also to complete the list...a drag queen.

Yea..this is the drag queen my sister happened to be acquainted with. Well...they actually are good friends since high school. They were pretty good friends back then and she always come around our house and that was how I became acquainted with her. We always call her Belle, I couldn't remember her real name.

Last I saw her was after they finished high school. I never see her for years. Then recently, she came by the house. Oh boy, I was flabbergasted by the changes she'd made with her body. Last time I saw her, she still looked much like a he than a she. Now...she had this set of fake boobs that she got done in Bangkok for 5K, I think. She was even 'gracious' enough to flash them infront of me...(poor me, I didn't see it coming)

Then I got bold enough and asked whether she had it removed yet or not. And much to my expectation, she had. It costed her 30K and now she had a set of fake vagina too. Then I went like...seriously? Then she said, if you don't believe it you can touch it. I was like, oh-no! Thank you but No!

She actually uses her new-found female body for business. Every drag queen does and thats why they are called drag queen. And as non-judgmental as I am, I don't cringe and distant myself away from her cos I believe everyone shouldn't be judged by the decisions they made. I'm sure they have good reasons why. So, whatever her reasons were...we will still be friends with her. By we I mean me and my sister. My mother was disgusted of her and wouldn't want her in the house...lol

Back To God

2011-07-24T12:47:00.000-07:00

Amy Winehouse is dead. Although it is expected but it still seemed very much surreal to me. Damn! always thought she would work her way out of the drinkings and drugs abusing and get herself sober cos she got so much potentials.

Gee, I wonder how a person can be so messed up? There's gotta be something wrong inside or something fucked up going on in her life. Honestly I think she just need a lil help and lil attention but guess what? She doesn't need it no more cos is practically SCREWED UP for eternity.

There's no turning back there for redemption no more, lil sis. Hope you rest in peace. Now, the world had lost yet another potential talent cos of DRUGS.

Yes, for those kids out there who's foolish enough to try drugs, YOU'RE IN FOR ONE WAY TICKET TO 6 FEET UNDER cos DRUG KILLS!

Breakfast at Tiffany's

2011-07-23T02:03:00.000-07:00

Not 2 weeks ago, I just had my hair touched-up. It looked perfectly straight and limb now and it has grow wee bit longer. I've enjoyed having it short since I have had it long for years. Now that it has grow I felt rather inconvenience. Weird eh? Hence, the conclusion is I'm going to cut it short before I fly.

Oh wait, I haven't said anything about flying anywhere yet? Oh well, its not like it is official...not just yet. But it seemed like I am destined to further my studies in Makassar, Indonesia in the field of medicine for 5 years. If everything's going according to plan, I'll be flying next 2 weeks, hopefully.

It wasn't my first choice but then again, I don't have any choice. This is the only way if I'm going to do medicine. I've got an offer to do forensic at UiTM Shah Alam but I have no interest in doing forensic, no way jose.

I pity some of my classmates back then when I was doing Diploma in Jengka. Most of them were as ambitious as me, as determined as me, as interested as me in the realm of medicine but only a handful that able to actually further in medicine, me included and I am more than thankful.

I am nervous though...crazy nervous...

Movies I've Watched

2011-07-20T07:27:00.000-07:00

I know that you've probably had enough of my movies review. But you know what, that is the best I can offer right now. I have no interest to talk about my life as it is too depressing too precarious too un-fun. So yeah, I said why bother talking about something so uninteresting? Lets talk about something fun. And you know whats fun? My movie reviews...lol

I won't elaborate long cos it is more than one movie. So here's what I'm gonna do...I'm just gonna put up a bunch of movie posters and some captions below it to represent my short yet fully-loaded review. Hows that? Rocking? Absolutely...

Lets start with a list of horror movies:

Background taken somewhere in Germany. The graphics didn't kick-ass enough hence it fell into the B-rated category. The idea however is the most disturbing I've ever came across. It is so twisted it makes Rob Zombie cringed...lol (that's a joke)

From French/Canadian production, this movie really kicked ass! The graphics are just too much too handle and its definitely in my list of hardcore horror movies.

Don't ever let the poster fools you. This movie blows! Terrible terrible terrible! It should sink to the bottom of D-Rated horror movie!

Watched this last year. Not bad at all. But the lack of good line-ups made this movie a lil stink.

Yet another D-Rated horror movie. A big waste of time...totally idiotic!

Packed with well rounded lineup, this movie brought a new edge to the vampire movies. A great movie, definitely!

Not bad...but didn't kick-ass enough. Too much plot too much talking, not enough graphics...

Cool cinematography. Full of nightmarish graphics. Kinda scary but the storyline is pretty blurry. I don't understand much.

Another D-Rated. The only attraction, if any at all...is the nude bloody Mary...other than that...its a AWFUL movie of all time!

Nice one. I personally recommend this one. Very good. I liked it alot.

B-Rated but fun. I've always favour British zombie movies. They really put humour elements into it.

As much as Edgar Allan Poe fascinates me but as far as this one goes...it is nothing but BORING! Dead BORING!!!

Kick-ass, total hardcore graphic! If you're up for gore and downright twisted movie, this one is definitely for ya.

Plotless...have no idea wats the motives, who are the killers...its just killings. A whole lot of it.

Thats all for now folks. Actually there is more but I'm kinda tired if uploading pictures and stuff. If I have more time, I'll add more list of the movies I'd watched. Till then...

Ten Years Journey...

2011-07-16T01:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, marked the end of my journey into the magic world of Harry Potter. In God's honest true, I never read the book. But like I've said before I am a keen follower of the movies. The first sequel of the series came out in 2001 when I was 11 and it has been 10 years now and I think it is rather a good time to put an end to a lifelong wait. I practically grew up watching HP.

What I can say about this last sequel is simply AMAZING! I think it is the best so far. I give it 4.5 stars...yea, better than Transformer. Seriously, to those who has been following HP as long as I have been I would say it would a terrible waste and a terrible lost if you don't complete it by watching this last sequel. I know the first sequel of The Deathly Hallows was a bit off and confusing but the second sequel really catapult the whole vibe back on top!

I'm not gonna say much just go drag your ass to your nearest cinema and watch it god dammit! I can guarantee you won't regret it!

Transformers 3 : Dark of the Moon

2011-07-12T05:43:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the delays...I watched this movie last month but couldn't find the time to jot down a review on it so here it goes...

The opening scene of the movie I was captivated. By both the beauty and the state of the art technologies effect. I was just amazed by how far the Hollywood's film industry has revolved. I'm going to give 3 stars on the cinematography alone.

As far as the story went, and as far as I understood...in this third installment of the Transformers series, there are 3 sides of antagonist - the all-time permanent antagonist, the Decepticons, then there's this lady in chief played by Frances McDormad, then there's Sentinel Prime. Three antagonists are quite alot for a complex movie. So due to this, I was abit lost in the middle of the story.

Also to mention, the scripts in this third installment is ironically long. Seemed like it never going to end. I'm guessing this might have something to do with the allegations made by Megan Fox of which she claimed she only had 20 lines. Perhaps, this is Micheal Bay's way of retribution. Thus, the long scripts, the talkings, the blah-blah almost made me doze off right there right then but luckily I didn't.

The plot is a bit twisted and confusing. Call me an idiot or an ignorant but I still don't understand why do Sentinel Prime has to join venture with the Decepticons when he himself is strong enough to do it all by himself? Did I miss something along the line? Do let me know.

Overall...I'm giving 4 stars out of 5....

The Man Who Thought...

2011-06-29T08:10:00.000-07:00

So, I've been working as a substitute teacher in a local tuisyen center for a month now. Tomorrow would be my last day there. Here's my take on that job...my review on how it went.

My big boss is a male teacher, Malay, in his early or mid 30's. He is one hell of a busy man. Mostly because he had a fulltime day job as a teacher at a school which he wouldn't want to let go and I don't even know why, during nights, he ran a tuisyen center of 300++ students...and then of course there's family and kids and other stuff to handle. So, he is sort of a man who's proud enough to think he can handle it all when the fact that he CAN'T!

Including me, this busy teacher (whose name I wouldn't like to reveal) has a total of 4 full time staffs. Before this, he had 6-8 staffs before he executed a major cut down, to what reason, I have no idea. So, staff like me had to do various kind of jobs. I am what you call 3 in 1 type of worker. I am the staff, I am the substitute teacher and I am also the cleaner. This is definitely wasn't something that I signed up for!

So, this boss of mine, he thought he paid us too much. He thought that the RM600 he paid us is alot. He keeps complaining that he paid us too much and that our works do not measure up to the amount we are being paid. I was thinking to myself, this guy must have live in 1911 to think that RM600 is alot when the fact that I think I am being underpaid! Rm600 a month to work like shit? HELL-TO-THE-NO! Did he think his RM600 worth as if it was RM6K?

This isn't coming from a person who never done a job. I've done various kind of jobs! Even when I was working at TGV, staffs and cleaners are two different occupations, carried out by two different employees. But in here, I learned that both of that occupations are carried out by the same people. And in TGV, the pay was better.

I usually don't always complain about the job I'm doing. The growing pattern that I've always observe within myself is that I tend to like my job better and better as days go by. But this job, that never happened. I happened to abhor it more and more everyday and I can't wait to quit!

There's so many think I want to complain about this job but I wouldn't want to write a long post cos no one would read it...so I'm going to continue in the next post...wait for it...

Unfaithful 2002

2011-06-23T06:07:00.000-07:00

This one is requested. I am honored to know that people actually read my blog and I am also deeply honored that people find what I've written actually made sense and had requested me to write a review about a certain movie. Thanks for your support readers, I am flattered.

This movie was premiered when I was 12 years old. Nine years has passed I still think this movie is way too adult for me. Partly because the background plot that involved a late 40's couple having a mid-life crisis. The storyline is simple, this a story of a bored wife, having lost her sensual affections toward her senseless, lack of libido husband drove her to find other alternative to spawn back her inner lust.

She was a good wife actually, she wouldn't want to do it at first but it all happened as if it was fated. And just like how every misdemeanor is fated to eventually got figured out, the husband found out about it. Again, to portray the wife is actually a decent wife after all, just when the husband had done killing the guy his wife having an affair with, his wife left a voice message on the poor dead guy's telephone saying she's ending it off cos she have had enough lying to her husband and other stuff people said when they came to their senses, blah blah blah...and her husband happened to be there and heard it all.

Subsequently, the wife found out about it, confronted her husband, her husband admitted doing the deed and this is my favorite part; the husband shouted to her wife (in the midst of a heated argument of course!) he said 'I wanted to kill you! Not him!'...then they both came to their senses and planned their next move. At the end, the husband turned himself in to the police. Good move! And I especially like the part when they flash back the scenes of how things could have been different had the wife found a cab and left instead of going in into the guy's apartment.

This is what I think...Diane Lane as the wife who cheated on her husband is undeniably remarkable. She shines like a stellar in this particular role. Richard Gere as the scorned husband is not bad at all. Thus, for the line of solid actors as the lead, I gave 3 stars. For a smooth directing, 1 star. For appropriate and skillful scripts, another star. And for a subtle extended sex scenes that had wee bit turned the movie into a soft porn, suitable for adults of late 20's or 30's...another star

Altogether is 6 stars out of 10. This is where it went wrong. The storyline and the plot is a cliche. A woman of late 40's having deep passionate affair with young guy, husband found out about it, an affair turned murderous...well, all of these are the essential ingredients inside every Hollywood's handbook of making scandalous movie. So, the whole thing was highly predictable and thats not good....especially for young, enthusiastic, hunger for something different type of viewers such as myself.

And for those who up for the extended sex scenes only, will let me tell you...being a keen movie watcher for so long I've had watched a movie which had way extended sex scenes than the ones in this movie. Try Antichrist with William Dafoe as the lead actor. Don't ask me how I came across this movie...But let me warn, it is strictly only for people of legal age and status (I mean married people).

That's all from me...hope you find it helpful...and not offensive :)

I'm Not Cut Out For This

2011-06-19T06:15:00.000-07:00

So, I've been doing this job as a substitute teacher in local Tuisyen Centre for about a month now. Don't get me wrong but I've learned alot while engaging myself in this not-so-worth-it job. I've now learned and realized that teaching requires alot of patience as well as passions. When I said alot I mean enormously alot and of which I don't have enough.

Most of students are easy to deal with, fun, nice and tolerable but it is like how folks usually said how in a pack full of white cheerful sheep there will always be one or a couple of black ones. These few sons of bitches made my blood boils! There was this one time, last night class to be exact...I taught Math and BM for Form 1 students. I had 4 students, 3 boys and one girl. Well girl is fine, they always are. The boys are awful! I can't even begin to put a word into how I felt toward these sons of bitches! Whole my life I've never met kids so disrespectful, strong headed, cunning, impertinent and almost diabolical!

I've tried with all my will to teach these students. I did, I swear I did! At some point I almost lost it and I felt like the back of my hands were getting hotter and if these were my kids I would smacked their heads to the wall repeatedly and bitch slapped some sense into them right there right then! But I'd recognize a lost cause when I see one (taking lines from Barney) so eventually I just gave up and I said do whatever you guys want cos I don't give a damn! They subsequently resolved to what they did best - preparing to leave when times are up regardless how much I've threatened to not let them go home if they didn't finish their works.

I know I should be a professional but I just can't help but to hold grudge against them. I felt disgusted and hatreds whenever I see them again. Hence, I now confidently realized that I'm not cut out for teaching profession and I respect those who are into it. Teachers are someone who made alot of sacrifices in shaping the nations children. I appreciate teachers even more now than ever before cos I've been there and done that and guess what? I couldn't even hold up for more than a month!

So yeah...it is decided. I'm quitting this job...

Easy Cash

2011-06-16T21:07:00.000-07:00

Recently I've been offer by the boss of my work place to do an extra job. Writing an assignment of 2500-3000 words for an undergrad student and I will get paid at least RM150 upon completion. I'll get more if I nailed it. The dateline is within 9 days, it is crazy but I said to the boss I'll try.

There were like 3-4 assignments on the table. The title range from psychology to language. Of course I picked my strong suit - "The Benefits of Speaking Effectively in English". So far, I am halfway through. I prolly gonna need a couple more day and I'll be done with it.

Easy RM150 bucks...and I'll do more if I got more time cos I'm gonna need all the cold hard cash I could generate. Need to buy a few things and need to get my hair fix, its all over the place.

Job is getting better, I think I'm starting to like and that is a good thing. I just need to hang on for a couple more weeks before resigning,,,

My MUET Result

2011-06-13T20:21:00.000-07:00

Unbelievable! I mean I know that I didn't do as well as I wanted to and I do said it before that I prolly gonna get solid band 4 but I never thought that it's gonna be one mark shy of band 5.

I am so gonna request for rechecking. Mark for band 5 is 220 and I got 219...what the heck right? They could have cut me some slack and give me one more mark to get band 5! But they didn't! This MUET people is really unsympathetic!

MALAYSIAN UNIVERSITY ENGLISH TEST (MUET)

Mid-Year 2011 Result

Index Number
:
MC0708/3081
Name : ELISA FARHANA BINTI OMAR

BAND ACHIEVED : 4

Test Component
Maximum Score
Obtained Score
LISTENING 45 32
SPEAKING 45 42
READING 120 93
WRITING 90 52
AGGREGATED SCORE 300 219
Candidates may apply for an enquiry on test results. An administrative fee of RM70.00 will be charged. For further information, please visit www.mpm.edu.my.

I'm Bailing Out

2011-06-12T01:03:00.000-07:00

Well, recently I got accepted to do a full time job as a substitute teacher at a local tuisyen centre. At first I thought my job is gonna revolve around teaching but apparently it goes beyond that. I've got to come in at half past 2 in the afternoon everyday to do some cleaning which include sweeping and mopping the whole floors. At 4 to 5 pm, there'll be some class to teach at I go back at 6 pm only to come back at 7.45pm until 10.30 pm. They going to pay me RM600 which I think not gonna cut it cos I have a long list of things to buy.

The teaching stuff is fun and although it wasn't something new ( I did it all the time while I was doing my diploma) but it is definitely something different. I enjoy the experience but the working hours sort of ripped me off my leisure times that I've been craving for this semester's break.

Thus, I'm bailing out. I'm gonna quit at the end of this month while I still have time. I prolly going to Indonesia early August so I practically have a month or less to enjoy my break and that's all I want. It's been pleasure working with ya'll, folks but I'm gonna fled and thanks for the good times.

How It Went?

2011-06-09T21:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday...I went for an interview at Royal College of Medicine Perak at Ipoh with me mom, Che Pora and Farah (my neighbour's daughter who happened to know the way). So, we hit the road at 4 pm Wednesday and arrived at Ipoh at 8pm something. We stayed at Farah's grandparent's house for a night and at 7 am the next day we hit the road again and were on our way to RCMP.

We were abit lost and I was starting to loose my patient but we arrived right on time, in fact we were 10 minutes early. So, there were two phases that we had to go through that day, the exam entrance and the interview sessions. Me and Pora were assigned to go through the entrance exam first then the interview.

The exam comprised of 100 true or false questions and one essay question, all to be answered in 40 minutes. Wee but tricky there but I managed to answer everything on time. The questions are mainly about current health issues and basic biology knowledge. I didn't think I nailed them good enough so I don't put good hopes for this one. This exam is 40 marks, another 40 marks comes from our pointer and last 20 would come out from the interview session.

Then, came the hardest part of the day. The interview session. There were mainly 5 rooms that doing the interviews. I get room number 4 and Pora get room number 5. For my room, the interviewers decided to cut the time shorter and asked 3 by 3 to be interviewed one shot. Unlike the other room, they got interviewed one by one. I preferred that way but what can I do...

After waiting for 2 hours or perhaps more, it was finally my turn. The interviewers were a male and a female senior lecturers. The female interviewer is a Chemical Pathologist, the male one I couldn't remember. Well, this interview was abit different. Instead of asking why do we want to become a doctor, they actually tried to push us off the edge and made us quit the idea of becoming a doctor at all. Yea, these interviewers brought out the ugly side of things just to observe our reactions.

They were the ones that mostly did the talking and we're just sitting comfortably on the chairs and listen as if we were the interviewers. During the whole interview session, I stood my ground and I firmly stated that I wanna do this and that it would be a great pleasure and honor if I was to be accepted into this prestigious institution. Well, the others candidates failed to mention this and what they kept bragging about is how their sisters and fathers and grandmothers and whatever is a doctor and whatnot. I told the interviewers I wasn't as lucky as them to actually have a family member who is a doctor but I said its alright cos I wanna make that change.

At the end, this interview really did open up my mind about the reality and the truth of becoming a doctor. Its not easy and I do know about that but it just never occurred to me about my future in relationship and building a family of my own until the interviewers brought it up. I realized the problem with most female doctors is that they are always single and never got married and of course as a woman, I do want to be married and have a family. But as I told the interviewers, it takes alot of sacrifices and each and everyone of us here realized that. I also told the interviewers if I am meant to found someone and be married then it will happen regardless of my choice in career. I believed its all in God's hand.

I have reasonable doubt that I would get accepted into this institution. The passing grade is 85% and although it is a high quality institution but I chose to remain loyal with my previous institution that I had been engage to for the last 3 years...UiTM in my heart...So, maybe and most likely I would be going to University of Hasanudin in Indonesia under UiTM medical program. It is not yet decided but it will soon...

For Now...

2011-06-07T06:17:00.000-07:00

Well...good things seemed to be showering over me alot these days. Last Friday I got a job as a substitute teacher in a tuition center. I've always wanted to do a job like that...just to beautify my resume if things didn't quite work out.

And today I went for an interview. An interview to further my studies in MBBS program at Makassar Indonesia. Alot of people said I shouldn't go there considering the environment and safety issues in that country but I saids what the heck? If this is my only option that can help me pursuing my dream I don't care what people said I will definitely go for it! Based on how well the interview went this morning, I think I have a bright chance to be accepted.

A day after tomorrow, I have another interview at Royal College of Medical Perak at Ipoh. They offering me to do MBBS program either at Perak or at India. The placing decision will be based on how well my entrance exam and interview go. I'm abit nervous cos the competition is pretty tight. I hope I'll nail it.

All in all...I just hope at the end of the day I get to have a choice to choose from...that's all I'm asking for now...

Between Anger and Serenities

2011-06-03T21:46:00.000-07:00

What can you find between anger and serenities? You'll find absolute power...

Last night, went for a show. Yea, you guessed it right. I went to see X-Men first class. It has been long awaited and here's what I've got to say about it.

First of all, let me just mention this for the record. I AM IN LOVE WITH JAMES McAVOY AND MICHEAL FASSBENDER! These two are some of my favorite actors out of the whole UK! Fassbender as Magneto is magnificent. He has always been known to speak German fluently. I especially favor his role in the Inglourious Basterds, alongside with Brad Pitt as a Lt Archie Hicox that can speak in German but with a thick British accent.

McAvoy as Prof. X is beyond awsome! Definitely top class!

So...at the opening of the scene, the actor for role of Sebastian Shaw seemed familiar to me. It occurred to me this guy looked alot like Kevin Bacon. Then 20 minutes passed, I realized IT IS Kevin Bacon. That guy is legendary, another favorite actor of mine. I especially like his acting in 1996's Sleepers, also alongside Brad Pitt and Robert De Niro. Great, great movie...outstanding!

Enough with the introduction of the actors. I'm sure by now you probably aren't as daft as you look like and know that this fifth installment X-Men is packed with first class actors...just like how the title itself suggested (X-Men First Class). So, the story is basically a rewind on how everything started. If before this, the fourth X-Men series told a story about the origin of Wolverine but this time, it tells us the story about the origin of Prof X and Magneto. How these two soon-to-become very powerful people become acquainted with each other and how this friendship turned into rival.

So, here's my take about the whole movie. To me it is great and I would simply give 5 stars out of 10 just for an amazing lines of great actors that made this movie more than stellar. Another star would come out from good script, one more star for a nice storyline. I give another star for outstanding directing and smooth change of background scene, also for great CGI. Not much I can give for the actions...half a star maybe and I'll tell you why...

The actions in this fifth sequel of the Marvel Comic mutants are not like what I had hoped for and expected to see. I can securely say that the actions in this sequel is not as good as the previous ones. I think the actions in The Origin of Wolverine is much better. I was hoping to see more actions, but I guess they let me down a wee bit on that part. This movie also disappoint me wee bit on the method of the story telling and plotline of the movie. Me think it was wee bit dragging and wee bit tedious at some point.

Overall, I give about 8.5 stars on this. Mostly contributed by the performances of James and Micheal. Well, you can say that I'm not a professional movie critic cos I have the tendency to be wee bit bias when it come to comment on my favorite actors. There is this one scene they managed to put Hugh Jackman role as Wolverine, though it was only for like ...what? 15 seconds maybe but that scene was one of my favorite...I'll show you why:

*Somewhere in a bar, entered Prof X and Magneto*

Prof X: Hi, my name is Charles Xavier

Magneto : And I am Eric Lansherr

Wolverine : (while sipping his beer) Go FUCK yourself! lol

*Prof X and Magneto walked out of the bar*...

~priceless~

Air Crash Horror

2011-06-01T03:27:00.000-07:00

I did mentioned in earlier posts that I have nothing to do since I finished my undergraduate studies. My main routine these days are watching tv...lots and lots of it. Some of my favorite shows are American Pickers on History channel, Garage Wars on Bio channel, Crime&Punishment on CI channel, and Air Crash Investigation on National Geographic and many others.

Recently, I watched an episode of Air Crash Investigation that covers a story about a collision between two flights that occurred in 2002. The collision was between a DHL flight flying from Bergamo, Italy to Brussels, Belgium and it collided with a Russian commercial flight flying from Moscow to Barcelona.

It was a tragedy that broke everyone's heart. The Russian flight was filled with high achievers kids on a vacation that they have won. The collision killed everyone on board, in both planes. It was so sad that I shed a few tears. Why is it so sad? I'll tell you why...

This unfortunate incident could easily be avoided if people really do their jobs with great responsibilities. I'm not gonna tell every inch of every corner of how this collision happened, you can look it up yourself. But just let me tell you basically how it happened. In every airplane, there is this one system called the TCAS. This system works like a warning system that warns the pilot about the existence of other nearby airplane and the potential of collision, something like a radar.

So, at about 10 minutes before the collision, the TCAS warned the pilot of the Russian flight about upcoming collision. Just like how a normal pilot would do in such a situation, he called the air controller. The air controller of that time was Peter Nielsen and to make matter even worst, Peter was the only one working that night. To make things even worst (like they haven't already) the air traffic radar system was on maintenance so the system ran abit slow that night. Peter was busy with an Airbus that wanted a clearance for a landing that he did not see the severity of the problem. Just a minute before the collision he saw it and instructed the pilot of the Russian flight to descend.

At that time, the TCAS of the Russian flight instructed to increase descend (which means to fly higher) but Peter strenuously asked the pilot to descend so the pilot, like he was accustomed to, he followed what Peter said. The DHL flight on the other hand, was instructed by their TCAS system to also descend, and so he descended his flight. Peter never contacted the pilot of the DHL flight. So clearly, there was a miscommunication and misconduct. After asking the pilot to descend, Peter continued handling the landing of the Airbus. He never even realized what happened or what about to happen.

Then, a collision happened. All 71 passengers died in both planes. Had Peter pay more attention on the screen, had he notice that the DHL flight was also descending in height, had the system of the air traffic was in good condition, had the pilot followed the TCAS, this collision could simply be avoided. Peter was devastated that he never returned to his job ever again. I believed he blamed himself for what had happened. It was his fault, yes, but not entirely. The management of Skyguide should also be put to blame for having only one person working on a busy night.

Most people put the blame on Peter but I don't think it's necessary for me to trample all over a man's grave. Yes,Peter died two years later. He was stabbed by one of the victims father who was so angry and disappointed with the accident. But I would like to believed that this horrible thing happened because it was meant to. It was fated to happen and so it happened...maybe God wanted it to happen to remind everyone to value their love ones even more.

Your Majesty

2011-05-30T01:04:00.000-07:00

I had just finished watching all four seasons of The Tudors. I've been watching this show from the first wife of the King right up until the 6th wife. King Henry VIII had been known as the sovereign who had the most number of wife in the history of the English monarchy. As I mentioned in the past post of similar subject, Jonathan Rhys Meyer as King Henry Tudor is gratifying. He did an amazing job playing the character and I almost believed that he is the incarnation of the King himself...lol

The King, I believed (after watching the show of course) is also famous for killing many of his closest subjects. He beheaded two of his wives (ill-mannered wives I must say and they had it coming), and several numbers of dukes, chancellor, and cardinals. But what he was famous for is the separation that he accomplished between the Church of England and the Catholic Church which denounce completely the power of the Pope over the realm.

The Tudors dynasty produced two great sovereigns of the English history of monarchy, Henry the VIII and Elizabeth I which was also know as the golden era. I find it irony how Henry craved for a male heir to succeed his throne but at the end, it was his female heir that brought about the glorious era of the realm. And I also find it irony how Henry was a womanizer and married 6 wives (he divorced 2 of them, killed another two, one died in child labour and the last one survived) but Elizabeth remained unmarried and a virgin till the day she died.

History is really fascinating...

Its Over...Finally

2011-05-25T05:54:00.000-07:00

Today is the day my final semester result came out. This is the milestone that marks everything that I have achieved for the last three years. I was abit disappointed for it wasn't what I was expected for. I was 0.03 shy of my target CGPA but still I think I did good overall. Not great but good and I'm certain I deserve a pat in the back and a congratulation from me mom but no...all she said is you didn't reach my expectation. Yeah...me mom can be very hard to please eventhough I am the only one in the family that excel in studies and that she should be very proud of me.

I was abit overthrown by that but when I think about it, I told myself the most important thing is I've done the best I could and that's all that matters cos when someday if I decide to look back on it I won't be fearing that I would look back in remorse that I didn't do my best for I certainly did!

I have no idea where will the future takes me and I certainly have no clue where will I be in 10 years time but I definitely would like to see myself in a white coat and a stethoscope hanging on my neck and calling myself a doctor. I would definitely like to see that day turns into reality.

So far, I have sent 3 applications for MBBS. I don't know if I got accepted in any but there is no harm in trying. I hope I got in or at least shortlisted for an interview. God! I don't know...these days are so tough because there are so many bright students to compete with. Education has become some sort of battlefield and I should fight till the end...mark my words...I will to the last drop of blood I will not quit!

Right...thats just the adrenaline and the estrogen talking...

Who Said That?

2011-05-19T01:02:00.000-07:00

Who said having big body figure is not beautiful? I recently came across this female Brit singer, Adele. You guys prolly known about her years ago and I prolly a little too late here, but what can I do, I don't listen to radios and I sure as hell don't watch MTV so I tend to know about latest artists abit later than anyone.

I am amazed by how beautiful this 23 year-old singer. Yes, she has curve and big body figure but she is gorgeous. I am moved by her beauty and confidence.

To tell you the truth, I'm not really into her songs, not my cup of tea but she has a great voice, she does. And my research with my uncle Google, I found out that she wrote most of her songs based on her past bitter relationship.

On a second look, I think she look bit like Leighton Meester or is it just me?

God! They both look freakingly similar...but I think Adele is much more prettier...

Better Days

2011-05-17T06:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday went out with me long-time-no-see mate. We used to be kinda close but I guess circumstances and other agendas grew us apart. Always I am thankful that eventhough I haven't been in touch with some of my friends, they still remember me and I them, and that whenever there was a chance to reconnect the bond we once had we never let it passed.

So, we went to the movies. We watched Kongsi. The trailer looked promisingly good but once again I was deceived. I, however wasn't very surprised because whenever I decide to watch local movies I will always set my expectation a couple of notches lower. One thing about our movies is that we always have this brilliant plots and interesting storylines but the skills aren't quite there yet.

Our movies industry lack of expertise, technologies, skills, tools, and of course budgets. The movie 'Kongsi' in my opinion has a interesting storylines and the comedy aspects are very entertaining but I have to say I was abit disappointed with the quality of actions. Actually, my friend and I were torn between Fast 5 and Kongsi, but Fast 5 started pretty late so we went for Kongsi instead. I kept thinking to myself if only we went for Fast 5, the actions would definitely blow our adrenaline level to the roof. The actions in Kongsi on the other hand are JUNKS!

There was this chasing scene in Chow Kit Road I think, the way the actors and actresses jumped off the roof, I mean their bodies movement and everything clearly showed that they used ropes to help them on the stunts. I mean most movies use ropes and everything but they always manage to camouflage this with good acting skills. When I watched the making of the movies, most of the actors and actresses were rather proud with themselves for mostly doing the stunts on their own. Guess what, your stunts sucked! I think it could have been better if they used experienced, trained, skillful stuntmen instead, it would be much better.

Overall, the execution of the movie is bad. Really bad, especially the actions. I hope that our film industry will be improve in the future. I really like to see one day the quality of our movies stood side by side with Hollywood movies. I really like to see that day coming...

Rockefeller

2011-05-16T06:58:00.000-07:00

These days things are getting tougher and harder,both financially and emotionally. Well, financial problems are always the roots of all problems, don't you find? How I wish my last name is Rockefeller or Firestone or Ford or anything rich-y. Cos then I wouldn't have to burden my head with all the thinkings on how I will pay for my education.

I seriously have no idea how I'm going to proceed with my education. Should I change my choice of courses, should I pick cheaper, easier, more available type of courses? Should I just ditch the thing that I fought tooth and nail for all these years? Should I just give in to fate and let destiny decides for me? God, no one said its gonna be this hard, but then again, nobody said it was easy.

I'm gonna need like half a million for my education. So, being an optimist like always. for those who are interested in helping a needy student feel free to reach me at my email elisa-punk@vampirefreaks.com

Lol, like thats gonna happen...

Current Agenda

2011-05-14T07:02:00.000-07:00

My recent activities are losing weight. Me mom bought these products call Herbalife to help me slim down. I don't know if its working cos I have just used it for 2 days now. Supposedly, I was told that this product will curb my appetite, apparently it doesn't work that way. I become hungrier than I was before.

Good news is, I feel full after eating a small portions of foods. Maybe this product help me cut my intake of foods which is great. But because I was very determine to make this work and fulfilling my mom's lifelong dream (to see me slim down), I haven't eat rice for 2 weeks now and I only eat a small portion of foods during lunch.

I don't know if there is any decrement in my weight but I shall find out in a week time. Gotta get myself a digital weight scale.

Forgive Me...For I Have Sinned

2011-05-11T20:22:00.000-07:00

I know I promised that the next movie that I will write about is X-Men First Class but I guess thats gonna have to wait cos yesterday I went to watch Priest, in 3D.

The main star is Paul Bettany. You see, Mr Bettany has always been my favorite supporting actor of all time. He has always been a great supporting actor to a great actor. For example, I really like his role in Knight's Tale alongside with the late Heath Ledger (bless that guy, I miss him) and also in Master and Commander alongside with Russel Crowe.

I think its about time that Hollywood offers this great English actor a main role in a movie. That movie happened to be Priest. Well, despite the fact that I think Paul did a great job playing the main role as the Priest himself, I, however think the actions are rather overrated. I was driven to believe upon watching the trailer that its gonna be an action packed thriller sort of movie. But no, I was deceived. This movie was scarce of actions.

Unlike Thor, this movie however has a solid, strong, moving plotline. Priest is a futuristic story whereby the world is shared by two kind of creatures - the mortals and the immortals (vampires). These two creatures, just like how nature had shaped them, will never live in peace until one completely dominates another. In order to destroy the immortals, the church clergy derived a weapon to help them annihilate their immortals enemies. These weapons are in the form of Priests, trained with special skills to hunt and kill vampires.

Another thing I like about this movie is that it gives me the full taste of what vampires really are. The creatures of the dark that crave for fresh human blood unlike Twilight's vampires that glow like diamond when expose to sunlight, preposterous!!! Don't even get me started with Twilight, I can just rant until I die. Back to the story, once the church has won the war with the vampires, all the priests are sent back to society, no longer allowed to use their skills and striped off their powers cos the church are scared these Priests could take over the power of the church.

Long story cut short, the Priest's daughter is taken by the vampires so the Priest is going after the vampire eventhough it is against the will of the clergy which means he breaks away with the church and become a fugitive of the church. This initiates his war with the vampires as well as the church. To know more, feel free to make your way to the nearest cinema and watch it yourself.

Another uprising star in the movie that is also one of my favorite is Cam Gigandet. This guy has a body I'd die for, seriously. His eyes, goodness! His eyes are ever so deep, is like looking to an endless pool of eternal happiness.

Next stop, prolly Pirates or X-Men....stay tune...

Till then folks...

p.s I find it irony that Paul Bettany has to play the Priest when the fact that in real life he is a Catholic turned Atheist

Measuring a Summer's Day

2011-05-10T22:05:00.000-07:00

This time of the year has been the hottest one I've ever had in my entire life. The temperature was so high, my body system couldn't even handle it no more and as a result I got a fever attack yesterday.

I was sleeping all day yesterday. The temperature dried the life out of me, goodness! I heard in the news that this global warming epidemic will last for another week. I think the nature retribution is upon us. This is the result of the abuse we've done to nature all these years. We've got no one to blame but ourselves.

Looking at the bright side, the weather today looks good and my fever is all gone. I'm starting to think that I have spent my three years doing diploma all for nothing.

Will talk more about this in the upcoming post.

Thor : God of Thunder

2011-05-08T19:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Mother's Day. Me and me sister brought me mama to see Thor in 3D. That movie was A.W.S.O.M.E! Its full of action, great actors and actresses and outstanding CGI effect! I really like the background scenery, ever so divine. I, however think the plot was rather weak. If only it got stronger plotline, it would be perfect.

I like how they centralized the dispute between two brothers and how a person can change after losing powers and titles. I once heard a phrase saying 'almost every men can tolerate adversity, but of you wanna test a man's characters, give him power'.

Now, lets talk about eye candy. Chris Hemsworth as Thor is HAWT! God, that guy had my eyes drooling over his perfect body with the sexiest six packs I ever laid eyes on! He is my absolute definition of real man. I envy his wife, I really do.

If I hadn't know any better I would say the guy who played Thor is the same guy who played Terry Bellefleur in True Blood series. They both looked freakingly similar. Lets take a look:

See the similarity? But of course Chris looked so much hotter and younger.

Overall, Thor is good to go movie. If you decide to give it a watch I promise you won't regret.

Oh yeah, I like Loki too, I mean the actor. I don't know what my problem is but I often seemed to fall for the antagonist. Always...

Good looking eh? A bit pale but I like the combination of the dark hair with the piercing blue eyes.

Next stop, X-Men First class. Can't wait. Two of my favourite actors are in it! Will tell you who they are later...Adios matey...

Got To Dance

2011-05-07T07:10:00.000-07:00

I've got approx 4 months up my sleeve to chill and relax and waste my time. This is it, I guess this is the only moment I've got to spend freely. So, since I've got no job, my time generally is spent infront of the TV mostly.

Not 2 hours ago, I watched Got To Dance UK. That show is mind blowing. I especially like the judges. I think Ashley Banjo is HAWT! When I was watching the show I heard a familiar tune playing as a background music. I went like 'I think I know this song'...then I went like 'Its the song of my ringtone god dammit! Its Arctic Monkeys' The Jeweller's Hands. I was aesthetic!

I know it was daft to be excited over such a thing but do tell me how many time have you heard people plays Arctic Monkeys' songs on a god damn tv show? I am surprised and happy at first but when I came to think about it, that show was a god damn Brit's show and it wasn't something extraordinary to play one of their own. Still, I am happy...

Thats all from me...God bless the Queen, I love Arctic Monkeys and DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE ~ Alex Turner

Making A Different

2011-05-06T01:05:00.000-07:00

Now that I'm done with my Diploma, I know it didn't mean a thing, I mean I couldn't even get a decent job with a diploma. This is just a beginning of everything. I just sent my application to study medic at India yesterday. Hopefully I got in. Frankly, I've got no clear view of where I'm going after this. For all I know, my chance to study medic domestically is ever so slim, so I'm looking at somewhere oversea.

The problem is money. That has always been the problem. Why do education has to be so freaking expensive? Seriously? This money issues just wear me down, it just bleach out all my determination and such.

How I wish I got a rich parent but then again I have to be thankful for everything. Who knows my opportunity would stop by and pay me a visit someday?

Now, I really need to loose some weight. I think its time, after so long...now I wanna know how it feels like to be thin. No, I still don't think thin is beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder...

Gratitude is...

2011-05-02T05:28:00.000-07:00

Truth be told, I don't know a whole lot about gratitude but I sure as hell know how and when to show some. There are many things I wanna share today in this blog. Some are happy some are not but I'm just gonna embrace them as they come.

First, my 3 years diploma journey has officially ended at 12 o'clock in the afternoon, local time, Saturday 30th of April 2011. You see, I, myself have trouble believing that I have successfully finished the 3 years course. I never thought I would excel, there were times when I thought of dropping out and just bailed out.

I'm not sure what gave me strength. Was it the place? Or was it the people? There are alot of things that place had taught and showed me. The most significant one however is that it had showed and taught me about people. I seriously had learned many things about many people while spending my times there. It also had taught me how to deal with these people and how to survive them.

Some people know how to appreciate others and show gratitude towards friendships that had been built for years. Unfortunately, there are some who doesn't. I might never tell this to other people but I HATE PEOPLE WHO DON'T KEEP THEIR PROMISES. If you know you can't keep your promise, you don't make one dammit! Cos when you make a promise to a person, at the same time you giving them hope. I know it might sound silly and daft but you have no idea what kind of damage it could have done when hopes are torn apart by your doings and not to mention that it was rude too.

I hate 'no-show' people. I mean people who promised that they going to show up but cancel at last minute. Once is acceptable but when the number hits twice you're on my blacklist pal. If you know that you don't want to come to my house maybe because you think you are of better standard than me. at least have some fucking guts to spill it out infront of my face god dammit! You don't go around wearing you false pretense faces and made false promises vehemently to me that you will come cos that will make me wanna punch your guts out!

Now I know you may say I got a lil carried away, you know what FUCK U! I hope someday people do exactly the same to you then you'll know what it feels like. Trust me when I say you and you (you know who you are) will no longer be invited to any of my event in the future, not even for my wedding and funeral! You know I ain't no kidding about this, when I said something serious I meant it and you should know that better than anyone else.

When you invite people to your event and they keep not coming, over time you will develop this repugnant feelings toward that people and you tend to delete them off the invitation list altogether! And thats what I'm doing...just like what I said earlier, this shit changes EVERYTHING! You should feel guilty cos you brought this upon yourself. I don't wanna hear excuses because there is no space for excuses no more. I invited you to come 3 weeks prior to than event and by the time of the event you should have cleared your schedule cos YOU HAVE MADE A GOD DAMN PROMISE TO ME. I don't care if your mother wanna go to a book fair or your father wanna go somewhere you should have said no cos YOU HAVE MADE A PROMISE TO ME AND SHOULD HAVE TELL YOUR PARENTS THAT YOU HAVE PROMISED SOMEONE THAT YOU WILL COME TO THEIR PLACE. So your excuses can be tossed in the dump just like our friendships.

However to those who showed up, I really appreciate it. You have proven that you are indeed a good friend. Seriously, I really appreciate it that you guys took your time to come to my place. Thanks...

Ps: It was my nieces' birthday party...

If I Fell

2011-04-22T08:10:00.000-07:00

No one will catch me if I fall and of that I'm sure. But now I do not want to discuss my pathetic love life of which I had none. I want to talk about a song that I just listened from The Beatles calls 'If I Fell'. This song makes me cry. I don't know why but I just can totally relate to the second girl mentioned in the song.

At some point I felt like I was actually the second girl that is about to be dump for another better girl. Silly eh? Considering the fact that I have never been in a relationship before. I think I must have replayed the song for the 50th times since last 2 hours and if I was on my own I would have weep my heart out!

I'll marry Ringo in a heartbeat

Since I'm in the topic why don't I touch a wee bit on why do people choose look over a great personality? I had this friend, from school. She was the biggest spoiled brat with attitude that spelled BITCH all the way down. She was the most immature 21 year-old that refused to grow up and always expecting people to put up with all her shits. But of course of all the downs, she had a nice face and hot body figure.

All the guys in my school drooling over her cos they think she's beautiful but only those who were close to her know that she was the divine definition of PURE BITCH! Now, my question is why do guys dig bitches? Seriously? Well, the answer is bitches always look good and no matter how an ass-hole they can be their good looking face will always make it up for it.

But how long those guys will be able to put up with her shits? Cos when all the shits been piling up for a long time those good looking faces won't make it up for it anymore and at some point that pretty face of yours will start to actually look like shit just like what you actually are. But still guys will always go for the pretty faces bitches...and thats call LIFE folks...

...and I suppose to deal with that...what a drag eh? Ya tell me mate

Weeks of Dysphoric

2011-04-20T23:55:00.000-07:00

The days have finally come. I've been waiting for these days furiously and impatiently since the last three years. Now that they are here, I don't feel the excitement. Not like how I imagined they would be.

This 2 weeks are the grueling weeks of final exams. My final exams of final semester. The ones that would be my last in this place. Today, I sat for the first paper, damn1 I almost flunk that one. It was biology paper and if it wasn't because of the leak I would have sit for that paper blindfoldedly, totally depend on fate. Whoever gave out those leak, I thank you! One down and 3 more to go. Last Saturday was my MUET paper, yeah, I finally...

Based on my performance, I would said solid 4. I kinda sucked a little bit here and there.Whatever, don't give a damn.

Last week, my class had a farewell dinner at Mercu View of which I was the sole organizer. Everyone had fun and I felt really happy cos I didn't screw up. I was terrified if anything goes awry. But nah, everything went smoothly that night.

All in all, it was great. We had barbecue, karaoke, we had games, we got gifts. It was awesome. Hope to see these people again in 10 years time and see where lives have taken each and everyone of us.

Chili's Of My Life

2011-04-14T04:37:00.000-07:00

This has been long overdue. If it was an assignment, I think I would have gotten my ass kicked for late submission. Thank God, it wasn't.

Dated a month ago, a week before the dinner. Located at Midvalley. I was just accompanied Pop to find her dinner dress last minute. We've roamed every corner and every inch of shopping lots in Midvalley. From Ms. Read to Jaspal. From TopShop to Zara and all that lies in between we just keep searching for the right dress. Thank God, found one in Somerset Bay. Two actually and it was actually a draw between this:

and this:

My vote went for the first one because I think it fitted with the theme of the dinner which was garden, flowery, easy-breezy, chill and relaxing. But, when it is Pop we're talking about, well, you can never tell Pop what's good for her cos she knew best. She always does. She picked the second one because she thought it complemented and boost up her figure significantly. I thought it was more like a prom dress but like always, she will never listen to what I said. And so, the winner was the second one. Either way, both was a good dress,

After that, we went to Chili's to have a dinner. I've been longing to try Chili's since forever, finally got my wish fulfilled. The meal that I ordered that evening was:

'Southwestern Grilled Lamb'

It was...the best grilled lamb I've ever tasted in my whole life! Seriously, I mean I haven't taste a whole lot of grilled lamb before but so far Chili's is on top of my list definitely! The lamb is juicy but not so juicy and definitely not over-cooked. The texture is divine and it was really good. I really like it.

Pop had this:

'Fajita Trio'

This was originally my first choice but I was on my diet so I had to let it go. But when I came to think about it, they were actually had the same calories..lol

This was good too...didn't taste it but sure as hell looked equally delicious.

That evening, we also had a mushroom soup for appetizer, and fruit juices for drinks.

There will be another visit to Chili's in the future, most definitely. That evening we paid about one hundred bucks plus plus for everything, couldn't remember exactly but boy! it was worth it! My next stop is, dinner at Mercu View...

It Was Dull

2011-03-29T07:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my last dinner here at this place. Sadly, it wasn't even half of what I expected. The theme was alright, nothing eccentric. Just typical 'easy-to-style' theme but oh boy, they surely picked the hardest theme to pronounce. What a shame even the MC didn't even say the title of the theme correctly.

Well, the theme is Rendezvous: Garden of Euphoria. Now, tell me how do you pronounce rendezvous? I'm not trying to act like 'miss-know-it all' here but goodness! Rendezvous does not pronounce ran-day-vous!!!! It is pronounce RON-FUCKING-DAY-VOO-DAMMIT!!!! Yesterday's night was supposed to be the night where I should felt celebrated and appreciated. If there was anything I felt about yesterday's night then it was nothing but dull and dead!

The food was vile, the decoration was repugnant, the people was nothing near cordial, the performance, GOD! The performance is completely revolting! What a disgrace for me to experience such a horrid event.

I wear a knee-length dress from Somerset Bay with maroon shawl and a white wedges.

I should lose that fucking legging!!! and that shawl too! Made me look like a stupid fuck!

You're A Fucking...!!!

2011-03-21T05:52:00.000-07:00

You are a fucking hypocrite!!! You're not my friend and I don't think you ever were and neither will you ever be. Even if one day there is not a person stay alive in this world but just you and me I still wouldn't consider you a friend of mine. And if one day I stand before God to be judged and if God happened to ask me about you, I will tell God solemnly that you're the worst person anybody could have as a friend.

Why don't you take down that fucking face of yours and stop PRETENDING that you are my friend cos clearly you're FUCKING NOT! I may not have alot of friends and how I cherish the chance to make more friends but by God I swear I curse every thought of having you as my friend. Cos you know what, all this time I thought you were one of my true friends but you never think the same of me. Not even a fucking scrap! God damn you BITCH! For eternity, I pray you'll be damned!

Goodness grace, I thought I'm over this. This 'mid-life' crisis is really getting the best of me. I really need a fresh air. a new place to start over and forget I was even here...

From Heathrow, With Love

2011-03-20T08:31:00.000-07:00

My all time best mate coming home from Portsmouth this June. I'm planning to pick her up at KLIA upon arrival but haven't decided yet. It always occurred to me how lucky she was to be able to get out of this place. My whole life has always been to get away as far as i could but she was the one to achieve it. How jealous I am? Boy, you can't never tell...

I know 'someday' is a code word for never but hey, who knows someday I get to be the runaway and experience my life the way I've always wanted? To say that I'm not happy here would be an understatement and to say that I don't belong here is an exaggeration. Its just that, I wanted to see new place, I wanted to see new people. I wanna make new friends, I wanna learn new cultures.

Quoting from Led Zeppelin's song;

"You got love you ain't lonely"

Its totally irrelevant. Just wanted to say that I'm hooked on Led Zeppelin now. Can't stop listening to them. Will write more about them in the next post.

Twisted Logic

2011-03-18T10:42:00.001-07:00

I try not to make a huge issue out of this but oh my, I’m just a mere mortal with heart that covets for nothing more than just warmth and endearment. Over the years I have been putting much effort to adapt myself with unequal treatment that I’ve been receiving from people because of my look. I realized and noticed on many occasions that all divine looking wenches seemed to be treated like a fragile crystal princess. Where I, on the other hand (severely unattractive) seemed to be treated like debris from a decaying carcass.

Despite my ill-favored look, I have been told that I have a good personality. People from my close pee wee circle of social acquaintances said that I am a fun person and extremely likeable and I tend to trust them for I have faith that its true. I felt ignominy and disgrace that I should be treated differently just because the way I look. I regretted that people choose to judge me based on the way I look. I resent the fact that people tend to disregard me because I’m not pretty but above all that I abhorred people that used me for any kind of reasons possible.

This ‘pretty’ and ‘not pretty’ issue has been lingering unattended and has cause many damage as the racist issue does. You know what this shit does to my heart and soul? It punctured and deflated them and all that’s left at the end of the day is just an empty vessel. I will not weep. At least not in front of people but I will shed a few tears of disappointment just to wash away the impurities of life. I know I will soon put this behind me and I know it won’t take long before soon and my emotion and self-esteem will be restored back to normal or so I hope.

How I wish there will be a world where people are not judged by short-lived, non-lasting physical looks. Instead, by what’s really there inside of a person, who they truly are, what defines them, and how they put themselves together. Love for appearance ain’t true love dear mate for looks and appearances are going to corrode away layer by layer. At the end of the day, when all the layers has been shed away, all that you are left with is bare-naked truth. During that time, how you wish you’d made a different choice but it’s too late. I’m not gonna look back in anger but definitely with a huge relieve that I’ve risen above. I will thank God that I don’t indulge myself in such a worldly catharsis and be spared from all those unnecessary drama.

This is only my twisted logic…so just bear with me please.

Did I Tell You?

2011-03-16T01:57:00.001-07:00

I thought I did in one of my ever so many posts for the past 3 years. When I went through it I found out I never talked about it. God, how could I missed it? It was like one of my greatest archive so far.

I happened like 3-4 years ago when I was 17. I had a band called The Sonnet Scene.

I've always wanted to have a band and play in a band since I was 15. I took a drumming lesson when I was 16 and finally during my senior year in high school I formed a band. The opportunity came when my school was planning to have a charity gig at our own hall so I said it would be a shame if the host doesn't send any band to play for it's own charity gig. Of course it was hard back then since I was in girls school and lots of the people there wasn't interested in rock and roll scene.

Me and Tania struggled to form a band, boy, it wasn't easy I'm telling you. First, the band consisted only me as the drummer, Tania as lead singer as her brother Bryan as the guitarist. Then Bryan found a second guitarist - Veether, to complete the line-up. Halfway through it, Bryan, for unknown reason quit and left the band. Veether found us replacement - Edmund. So there it was, Me, Tania, Veether and Edmund - The Sonnet Scene was born. We never had a bassist though.

From left, Edmund,Veether,me and Tania

We tried to practiced twice a week. If it wasn't because of my deep passion towards playing music I would have quit long time ago. There were many obstacles that came through and Tania almost quit. Just like the cliché goes about how 'drummer is the backbone of the band', now let me tell you that ain't no cliché mate. I was more than just a backbone, I was the heart of the band. I fought with the fucking organizer so hard just to get my band an opening act which only 2 songs. I cursed the organizer to burn in hell even to this day for giving me such a hard time!

But thank God, everything went well. I'm proud to say that during the gig, we played along side with some of the country's famous indie bands such as Hujan and Bunkface. They weren't famous back then and the different between them and us is that they made it big. We, on the other hand got buried is some unnamed grave. Also because they were great and we sucked major ass.

All in all, I got what I've always wanted. I got to have a band and played in a band eventhough only for one show. It was worth it. I will always cherish that moment and I will always be proud of what I have achieved.

P.S: We had a single that is almost done titled "Misery Mystery". We had the riff and lyrics all worked out but we never finished it...

Untimely Demise

2011-03-11T04:53:00.000-08:00

How do we survive this harsh and unforgiving world that we've been living in? I honestly and personally find it both challenging and intimidating. Yes, I strive! Day in and day out,equally as hard and as valiant as others but life remains precarious and that, my friends, break my spirit and my will into smithereens.

I resent and refuse to be denied of what is mine. When I work hard for something, I want to see a positive outcome, I want things that I know by right I deserve. When I want something, and that I want it really bad, I will really work on getting it. But when time after time being refused to receive what I have worked for, I feel scorned and barren.

It pressurizes me, this whole situation. I am deprived of hope and strength to fight. I will now leave it to fate and destiny to decide for me...

How Did You Do it Angel?

2011-03-08T00:23:00.000-08:00

I haven't been here for ages it seemed. All covered in dust and with one soft blow, everything will be gone with the wind. Just like how I wasted 3 god damn years of my life just to find out the chance of me pursuing my dream is ever so slim! There's even a talk that I might not have a chance at all.

The online application for Bachelor Degree admission has opened recently. I bought both pin numbers for UPU and UiTM, with hope that maybe I could apply to MBBS program and get in. It blow the hell out of me to find out that they had recently alter the admission system whereby they no longer offer MBBS program for final-year Diploma student.

I immediately called the intake department of UiTM for explanation. They said if I want to apply for that program I have to wait until I have fully graduated and have received my Diploma then only can I apply for it. Which means I have to wait for another god damn year!

When I did a calculation (which is very clear and simple), I already did 3 years of Diploma, if I have to wait one more year to get admitted then that makes it 4 years, if I do get admitted then it will be another 5 years. Altogether is 9 years plus 2 years of housemanship - 11 god damn years of continuous study! I'll be 31 by the time I finish it all.

I am a woman with desires to get married and have children like any other women in the world. When will I get married and have children if it takes me 11 years to finally achieve a stable life? I simply cannot wait one more year and do nothing in between. I told me mom if she insisted that I wait for another year I will quit! I have no will to study anymore if thats the way cos I just had enough...seriously.

Why is it so hard to be a doctor these days? Seriously, I don't understand! Right now, I'm looking for other alternatives. I'm browsing through medical colleges both inside and outside country. I'm trying to keep my options open. Thats the best I could do. Oh God please grant me strength, will and perseverance cos I really need it.

Glasto...I'm Definitely Going For Ya

2011-02-24T22:26:00.000-08:00

This has been due for quite a long time now but I think its better late than never. Nothing biggie, just wanted to talk about a book I bought in a cheap fare a couple of months ago. I actually bought a few books but the one i want to particularly write about is this one;

I think I mentioned it before that Glasto is the place that I MUST visit before I die. God! You don't know how much I just wanted to dump everything, pack my bag and get my gear all up and just fly there! If only I could do just that, it would be heaven.

Despite the fact I had bought the book a couple of months ago, I haven't got the chance to open it yet. But recently, I started to finally indulge myself into it. If before this, my opinion towards Glasto is just a great place to enjoy yourself and experience Rock music like you never did before but after reading this book, it is actually more than that.

In Glasto, you can be yourself and even better you can find your true self there. You don't have to worry what others might think cos the people there are just like you. They too, are in search of their true selves. You don't to worry if your passion in music might clash with others cos in Glasto, they provide not only one type of music but many and certainly they won't judge you based on your taste on music - that's ridiculous! You can enjoy any type of music until you puke, seriously.

If you're not in for the music, fret not! They have other stuff too. They have theaters, they have dancing, they have spiritual speech, arts, crafts, cultural exhibition, and basically everything that is enjoyable and appreciable. It is like a place where every form of arts merge together as a platform to unite people from every aspect of lives. The idea is really rejuvenating and awakening. Although, during the early years of the festival, drugs and hippies were two essential elements but it was nothing harm really. People just wanted to have fun and enjoy themselves and they see drugs as one way to it.

One interesting fact: one of the co-founder of the festival was Arabella Churchill, the granddaughter of Sir Winston Churchill. No idea who is that? Go kill yourself! You clearly suck at world's history.

Isn't she just pretty and radiant?

Anyway, I'm not even finish reading the book. I'm not even on half. The over-flowing excitement and passion get me a little carried away. If only I could go to Glasto this year...Damn!

Interesting

2011-02-20T00:32:00.000-08:00

Today, when I was browsing through my FB account (which i rarely do) I came across what kids these days call 'love quotation'. It went something like this;

"If love was to be picked from trees or borrowed from stones, everyone could have it, but it was to be picked or borrowed from FIRE, so some decided to have it and the rest left it"

Interesting is what i think it is...

Cherish

2011-02-18T23:06:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I went for yet another trip to a waterfall in Kuantan. The waterfall was amazing and basically me and the girls have had a great time enjoying ourselves to the max.

It was a lovely day. A day that I will always remember to cherish...

My Lovely...

2011-02-17T06:30:00.000-08:00

I miss you...

Why do we have to be parted o' love?

You were my pride and my joy...

Hope to see you in the near future, my lovely long wavy hair....

The Who?

2011-02-16T08:14:00.000-08:00

I think pretty much all my close friends know I'm a sucker for classic rock. Right now, I'm hook on The Who. Can't stop listening to them.

Call me weird or whatever makes you happy. When people listen to Justin Bieber and can't stop watching his music videos on youtube and giving that kid millions and millions of view everyday, I, on the other hand busy looking for old videos that dated to almost 40-50 years back. I think those oldies videos worth my time better than todays' craps ever could. Guess I'm just different.

'Substitute' has always been my favourite song from The Who but right I just can't stop listening to 'My Generation'. I remember back then at school, in Maths class, we learned about substitution (basic Maths) and every single time my teacher said the word 'substitute' ( which she happened to say alot back then) I would automatically sang the song. Tania and April were annoyed at first but eventually they adapted and they too sang along with me. God! Those were the days.

When I watch the video, if I hadn't know any better, I would definitely say ' Do they have a retarded boy playing on the drums?" Of course I know better but for those who don't, then let me tell you, that 'seemingly' retarded boy is Keith Moon - the greatest Rock drummer of all time. Well, alot of people think he is and of course he is, but I prefer John Bonham of Led Zeppelin.

One fun fact: do you know that all the three franchise of CSI (Miami, Las Vegas and Los Angeles) used songs from The Who as their theme songs? Don't believe me? Go have a listen at youtube somewhere. The titles of the songs are 'Baba O'Riley, Won't Get Fooled Again and Who Are You'.

I think Jerry Bruckheimer must be a huge fan of The Who. This maybe just me but I think great musics are musics from the past. Musics made by The Who, The Beatles, Queen, The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin and the list goes on and on. Another fun fact, most of the great rock bands of the 50's,60's and 70's conquered by the Brits. Is it wrong if I say Rock was born in the Great Britain?

I can go on till forever talking about the history of rock music cos its the only thing that runs deep in my passion. I enjoy rock music and I've been enjoying it since I know how to listen to rock music and how to appreciate it. Another fun fact, I never change my music genre since I fell in love with rock. It has always been rock and me for the last 6 years or so. I don't think I will ever listen to other type of music. Its either rock and nothing at all...

It Doesn't Come Easy

2011-02-15T08:24:00.000-08:00

Supposedly, I should write about this on Valentine's Day. But what the heck, there's no timeline to talk about love. You can always talk about it anytime you want.

I don't usually talk about love stuff because I don't know shit about it. Never happened to me, never experienced it. Well, I would clearly be lying through my teeth if I said I don't long for it. Of course I want to know how it feels like to be in love but love doesn't come to me as easy as it does to others.

I know that I show zero compassion and interest towards people that are crazy in love and sometimes I tend to make fun of them but truth be told, I'm jealous. Truth be told, I want to feel what they feel. Truth be told, I think they are damn lucky to be in love.

Well, I never really show this side of me before and I know my friends (who happened to read this) will make fun of me real good but what the heck...I'm just telling what I really feel.

Motivated

2011-02-14T23:29:00.000-08:00

Today, out of blue, and I'm telling you its very rare especially these days, I am actually feeling motivated. Not 'hard-core', 'die-hard' motivated, just slightly motivated but motivated enough to write a motivative post...lol

In this post, I would like to talk about CHANGES. Before that, let me ask you my beloved, valued, non-existent readers, what is CHANGES? To me, CHANGES are something great, well, that really depend on the nature of the CHANGES but if its towards the betterment of human race than it is really GREAT.

The problem here is, how do we make CHANGES? Lets specify the CHANGES to one-self. I mean how do you make CHANGES to yourself to be a better person? If there's anything I learn from growing up with a headstrong sister and an over-spoilt kid brother, is that you can NEVER talk someone into CHANGES. I know sometimes you just wish you could bitch-slap some sense into them! But no, it doesn't work that way...

Well, you can always try until your mouth bleeds (just like how my mother did it) but in the end, I mean if the CHANGES ever take place, it will happened solely and purely from that person's own initiative. Not because you talked it into their head.

Take me for a nearest example. My mom always nagged me into CHANGES, into losing my weight and what not. But it just never worked for me. The whole time she was talking about it not a thought about doing it ever come across my mind, like seriously.

What works for me is that the thought of CHANGES usually come naturally. When it does, oh boy, ain't nobody can stop me to not doing it. My point is, stop telling people to CHANGE even though you think its vital and essential for that person's sake. Cos you know what, you'll be only wasting your time, that 'talking' method NEVER WORKED!

So yeah, pretty much motivated huh? lol

Get Yourself Together

2011-02-12T21:30:00.000-08:00

This coming week marks the beginning of another hectic grueling semester. Lets see what I'm having next week

Tomorrow/Monday : Presentation for Entrepreneurship and Roleplay for English, submit Inorganic Chemistry lab report

Wednesday : Chemical Analysis test and submit lab report and Inorganic Chemistry quiz.

I haven't got anything going yet. Planning to study for Inorganic Chemistry now but got sidetracked. This is why I don't make time table for myself. I often get sidetracked and whats the point of doing time table when you don't follow it.

I know time table is good to get yourself together and to get a little organized but I can't seemed to fancy it's nature. But i think as long as you know your limits, then it should be alright.

I've seen many of my friends with promising future get drifted away in a world of no limits and boundaries that they created to satisfy their ever-lasting youth and joy. I know that you might think this is the time to experience life like you never did before but one thing often lead to another and by the time you realized it you've already gotten too carried away.

What I'm saying here is, value your life and your education and think about where it might take you from there. Fun and entertainment can wait...

Maybe Yeah, Maybe Not...

2011-02-12T09:49:00.000-08:00

Its almost 2 in the morning now, but its ok cos you know what, its the weekend. Nobody goes to sleep early on the weekends and I'm sure as hell not gonna be the one that does it.

Lab reports are piling up, quizzes and tests are lining up, assignments are waiting up and I am practically screwing up my timing. Its already February, which means another 2 months or so to go.

I've thought about what I want to do next. See, I don't want to gamble my chances, I don't to blew away what little opportunities that I may have by being greedy, so I probably gonna play it the safe way. I'm just going to apply to further my Bachelor Degree in UiTM. I heard I have better chance to get accepted to do the course I wanted here in UiTM compare to other Public Universities since I'm already their student. Plus, its way, way, way cheaper in UiTM rather than anywhere else.

I guess my dream to further my studies oversea would have to wait. Maybe when I'm doing my Master Degree later in life...hopefully, if I'm not too occupied.

The Fighter

2011-02-10T21:56:00.000-08:00

Life's looking good at this time of the year. I've mentioned this before but it seemed to give me ineffable joy to mention it again and again, countless of times, that this is my last semester here. I am finally finishing my diploma after 3 years. It feels good babe! The portal to apply for Bachelor Degree has opened last month. I got time till next month to think about my option. Still thinking what to do next but I pretty much already had a rough idea where to go next. I'm keeping my option wide open but right now I don't wanna talk about that. Right now I wanna talk about this movie;

Have I ever tell you that I think Christian Bale is one heck of an actor? If I haven't, then allow me to do it officially, here in this post. I personally think that Mr. Bale is an outstanding great actor! The most versatile Hollywood can ever offer. Even so, I just couldn't say than Christian is my favorite actor, not after the 'Terminator' commotion last 2 years. But hey, who am I to judge aight?

In this movie, Christian Bale did not play the main role but instead he played the supporting role. He won Best Supporting Role for Golden Globe Award and I vehemently think that no one else deserved it more than he did. He made the character so believable that it was as if he was what he played. He played the crackhead brother of the protagonist and at some point I almost believed that he was crackhead, even in real life cos he looked damn like it!

Good actors entertain you, better actors will have your focus and concentration but great actors will make you believe, that's why they are called great actors. This movie, in my opinion is just so and so but because Christian Bale was in it, this movie definitely deserve a watch!

It Was A Blast!

2011-02-08T22:25:00.000-08:00

I meant to write about these yesterday but I was too busy with all the lab reports and stuff I have to delay it to today. My 21st birthday was a blast! The girls bought me a cake, balloons and other stuff, it was alot of fun. I'll let the pictures do the talking...

"Coklat Permandangan" lol

It was a surprise and these people were the line of the surprisers, thanks everyone.

Like every good birthday party, the joke is always on the birthday girl...

Thanks everyone. I appreciate it very much. It made me feel loved and appreciated. I would never forget my 21st birthday. Although, this might be the last birthday I celebrated in this place with these jolly good people, but it was enough to know that it will never be forgotten.

I will always treasure this moment for years to come... Thanks again...

Turning 21

2011-02-06T07:06:00.000-08:00

Its not everyday that I turn 21. Tomorrow would be the first and the last time I'll be exactly 21. I always imagine how my 21st birthday would be like. But i guess it would just be ordinary. Nothing special. Truth be told, I no longer excited about celebrating birthdays anymore. Because birthdays remind me how old I'm getting and how little I've achieved so far.

Being 21 however is definitely something. Now, I am a registered constituent and I have a right to vote for our nation's future leader - not something I'm looking forward to. Best thing, now i can legally enter night clubs and order alcohol - like I'm gonna do that.

Most of all, being a 21 years old would mean I have to act more like an adult cos I am no longer a child and no one can treat me like one anymore.

All that I'm wishing for this year is that I can achieve all that I've been dreaming for all this time. Even better, i hope to be given a chance to further my studies abroad. God knows how I'm craving to go oversea to study. Its been my lifetime dream since I was little.

I'm starting to like my hair now cos its getting nicer and nicer everyday. Alot of people said it suits my face perfectly. Although, I'm still missing my old hair. Everytime I see people with long silky beautiful hair I would be 'damn! wish i hadn't cut mine!' But i needed some changes and it was worth it.

Thats all for now folks, I'm getting excited to know what the girls bought me for my birthday present, or maybe they forgot and they didn't buy me any. Well, i'm not hoping for anything,

New Perspective

2011-02-05T03:16:00.000-08:00

I pray that I will be given a chance to go far away from here. I hope to start new life in a place where nobody knows me. I wish to meet new people that will alter my definition towards life.

I want to go to a place where people appreciate beauty from the inside, not just from the outside. I dream that after all the hardship I've fought through, my life would at least means something.

But above all that, I wish to be bestowed upon unconditional love and happiness. I wish to be surrounded by people who enjoy my presence. I wish to see life from a different angle and perspective.

In short, I want to do what Julia Roberts do in 'Eat Pray Love'. I think its amazing and beautiful to experience life in such perspective. I want to be able to travel to new places and learn new languages. I pray to God to be given such chances...

Counting My Blessings

2011-02-02T08:21:00.000-08:00

I feel so vulnerable and miserable right now that I swear to God I could just break down and weep. I've got no idea why I am so emotionally overwhelmed these days. Is it because I'm turning 21 next week? I don't think so. I'm glad to be 21 and I've got so many things I have to be thankful for.

Sometimes, it just occurred to me would it make any different if I was prettier? if I was skinnier?Would he felt differently for me then? Would he liked me then? Would he accepted me then? I usually don't give a damn about these things but I can't just deny the fact that it does affect me emotionally. Cos it does! ALOT!

I don't ever wanna change for nobody but to tell you the truth, it sucks to be me. If you look in the mirror and you don't like what you see, then you can find out first hand what it feels like to be me. I just pray to God that someday a guy will come along who will accept me just the way I am. Who will fall in love with me for whats there inside of me. Who will appreciate my very being and who will never tell me to change for anything, ever!

Dear God, if you hear me. I'm willing to wait for no matter how long if such guy ever exist. But if he doesn't exist, I won't blame you, I won't blame anybody. I would accept it with open hearts cos I believe everything that happens has reason behind it.

Where Do We Go From Here?

2011-01-31T18:00:00.000-08:00

This going to be a very emotional post. I'm going to talk about feelings I never enclosed before, not here not anywhere else. But now, I'm feeling a little exposure.

Sometimes I feel that he is using me. I know that we're just friends and we've been staying that way for years but I can't help but to have my old feelings for him rekindled every time we meet each other. He's a nice guy, I give him that but I don't think he has feelings for me. Well, he didn't last time I asked him about it.

I had no intention to be in love at this moment, but it would be nice to know how it feels to love and to be loved. To care and to be cared. To nurture and to be nurtured. To have someone calling you at 4 in the morning just to hear your voice and just to tell you that they're thinking about you. To have someone to talk to when you feeling like it. Its nice to have someone, ya know.

I don't think he's using me but it sure as hell feels like it. If it true that he's using me, that's really gonna change alot of things like seriously. God! Nothing feels better that being back at home...

KESAS

2011-01-25T03:00:00.000-08:00

It had been busy busy busy couple of weeks for me. Sorry for no updates for quite sometimes, I don't know to whom I am apologizing to, I'm sure nobody reads my blog but what the heck, I'm still writing it anyway.

Last weekend, all final year seniors (yeah, thats me!) had to organize one-night one-day camp for our fresh year juniors. I was the head facilitators and my job basically was to make sure the event went smoothly. Well, it wasn't my first event. I was involved in the similar event last semester but this one was different because we had to spend the night.

The event started at night with a game similar to Explorace, in which they have to travel around campus from one checkpoint to the next. In each checkpoint, they have to answer a question (made by yours truly) and if they couldn't answer it, they will be punish. They have reach the final checkpoint in one hour. This game is designed not to have any winners hence, no winners for that night.

After the games, everything went sour. I know the ragging is custom in an event involving seniors and juniors but I felt bad and I don't think it was necessary. I tried to prevent it by talking to the event director ( who is my classmate for 6 semester) to kill off the raging slot but clearly it didn't work. The event for that night ended with everyone receding to their sleeping place which were in classes we booked from the administration for this very event.

The event for the next day was ok, except the flow of the event was pretty messed up. There were changes in the schedule that no one knows about and the Executive Director of the event (who is also a friend of mine) stole 25 minutes from my slot which I think wasn't very cool but fine.

All in all, I had fun. I think this event is great to close the gap between the seniors and the juniors. I get to know my juniors and they get to know me which I think is awesome.

Laughing Stock

2011-01-15T21:40:00.000-08:00

First of all, I would like to thank Ezhar for providing me with the whole season of How I Met Your Mother. Now, I can confidently say I have found my laughing drugs to ease my sorrow...lol

Thanks babe, you're the best!

'Good ol' Times'

I am so in love with Barney. He might seemed cool and all but the truth is, he is more a loser than Ted is. I like Ted too cos he's cute and sometimes naive and he is like sort of Barney's bitch. Marshall and Lily are meant for each other. Robin is absolutely not from this world. They might be sore losers but I'd kill to have friends like them to hang out with, like seriously.

I always fancy the way Barney always dressed up in suit

Since I am so lazy to make a new post about this I might as well just cram all of it in this one post or else I'm not gonna do it. Its nothing really, just a bunch of photos from last Friday outing at Kuantan.

We went to the movies, karaoke, the beach and seafood restaurant. Overall, it was fun and great. I enjoyed it and I wish we could do this more often...

RoadKills

2011-01-14T20:04:00.000-08:00

I have never hit anything ever in my life, let alone killing anything in the process. Yesterday marked my first time ( i hope it will be the first and last) of hit and run tragedy. Me and the girls, five of us planned to go and have a good time out together at Kuantan. We rented a Proton Wira and I was the driver.

Since none of us really know the way to Kuantan, we decided to just hit the highway and follow the signboards. The highway was vacant and empty and there was barely any car around even though it was already 10 am. The 'god-forsaken' environment made me unaware that I was speeding and I didn't even realize I was going on 140-160 km/h.

Then, I couldn't remember where exactly but I think it was 20 minutes from reaching Kuantan I saw a long horizontal Monitor Lizard crawling it's way across the road. It was huge and I could have sworn it was about 2 meters long. I almost panicked and I was 10 meters away before hitting it. I was asking myself "should I stop?" but then again who stopped completely in the middle of highway cos that'll be fatally dangerous. Then I thought "should I avoid it?" How do I do that? I was driving so fast I could lost control and hit the dividers. I could change my lane but there was another speeding car on the next lane so I don't think I could change my lane on time.

I was running out of options and that was when I hit that poor innocent animal head first. At the last seconds, I thought that the animal going to be spared and that it's head is half an inch from my wheels by any miracle. But no, it wasn't and I ran across it execution style. The air in the car was so silent, as silent as the grave. Everyone was flabbergasted and I swore I felt horrendously terrible afterwards I could die.

Of course I stood out for myself. My logic told me that it wasn't my fault, heck! I even shouted to them it wasn't my fault! But my conscience, deep within me, I know it was my fault. If only I wasn't driving too fast, if only I was on the other side of the lane...yea, if only I was a couple of minutes away, that lizard could have make it across safely.

I know shit happens all the time. Roadkills are common things on road but I really feel guilty of killing innocent animal. Hence, the moral here is 'Do not drive too fast folks, value your life and that of the animals you might killed by doing so'.

RockerRolla Entertainment

2011-01-12T04:53:00.000-08:00

For this semester, I have to take 'Basic Entrepreneurship' course which I think is pretty fascinating. The course required a group of 5 to create an 'imaginary' company running a 'pseudo' business complete with a 'false' board of directors and write a real paperwork regarding the business. So yeah, I pretty sure I'm gonna run for the Chairman position, lol.

From the early discussion, which I think will be followed by many many other discussions complete with arguments and drama, we have decided to run a show business. Here's a little informations regarding our company:

Company's Name: RockerRolla Entertainment

Type Of Business : Event management

Specialized In: Organizing concerts for international bands

Company's Budget: Unknown

No. of Employees : Uknown

No. of Shareholders : 5 (from board of directors)

Type of Artists: International rock bands

Side-Products: Merchandise and Live Concert Cd's

This is definitely something new for me. I don't know a whole lot about event organizing and stuff but I'm sure we gonna pull it just fine...

Thats all from me folks. Will update more once the company become more establish...

BITCH HEADACHES

2011-01-08T04:53:00.000-08:00

I refuse and I strongly oppose the idea of becoming drug addict! But oh boy, how am i going to survive this BITCH HEADACHES without swallowing lots and lots of painkillers and paracetamols? I seriously think there's something wrong with my head but the young and rather frivolous medical assistant that I met yesterday ruled out the possibility of migrain, high blood pressure and concussion.

If this stupid headaches continue till mid-sem break I will definitely take it to the pro to get it look at. I think up till this point, I have swallowed more than 10 pills on various mild painkillers and paracetamols since morning. This headache is killing me man that sometimes I just want to rip my head off and feed it to the hounds! Except its gonna hurt like hell and I'm sure gonna be dead by then and no hounds are around lol.

Astoundingly, listening to Wolfmother reduces the pain, though not tremendously but enough to ease the pressure.

Allow me to be sidetracked and talk about this awsome, awsome band. I knew this band from the game Guitar Heroes. They were famous with their song ' Woman'. If you're into cool riffs and awsome guitar solos, 'Woman' will definitely infatuate you, DEFINITELY! Think of Led Zeppelin met ACDC. They are Aussie band and they are GREAT! If you can relate to my taste of music I recommend you to give this band a listen, you'll love it...trust me you will.

Home Is...

2011-01-06T20:38:00.000-08:00

This is my first post of the year 2011. I know it is a bit late as I was busy improving and managing life. College started last Monday and I'd returned to campus last Sunday. This is my third and final year in here yet I still feel like it was only yesterday that I hopped into a car with my parents with a boot full of luggage heading to the college for my first day as a freshman. Those were the days that I would not forget.

I still experience homesickness even as a senior but I believe the symptoms have reduced tremendously compared to when I was a junior. I guess it must be true when folks say 'home is where your heart is'. It has always been both thrill and pleasure to start a new semester with new things to learn from a completely different lecturers. This semester however, well I'm not sure if it is a blessing in disguise but we have 2 same lecturers as we did last semester teaching us the continuation of the same subjects. It is really rare and it never happened before and I pretty much don't prefer it.

All in all, everything looks fine and lovely except for this bitch headache I've been experiencing this week. Feels like its getting worst, I'm going to get it look at this evening and I hope its nothing serious...

Will continue to write more...till then

Had Fun Today

2010-12-27T08:55:00.000-08:00

Nard came by my house today. Yep, all the way from Ampang to Klang. She said she missed me and thought it'll be a good idea to just show up at my doorstep but God knows what really runs in that pretty brain of the worst liar I ever know...lol...Just kidding, relax.

After lunch, I decided to take her around town and go see my kicking place. Before that, I had plan to go to UniTen to visit Che Pora. We stopped for just a lil while at Aeon Bukit Tinggi to let her see how its like since she's already here. After about half an hour worthed of roaming around, we hopped into the car and speed our way to UniTen Putrajaya.

I didn't really remember the way by heart but I've been there before so I was just sort of following my guts. Thank God, we reached there just fine. Met Che Pora, lepak for about 2 hours or so while waiting for Nard's bf to finish class to belanja us some cendol. After the cendol, dropped Nard at KTM Kajang, dropped Dzafir at his hostel, dropped Che Pora at the cafe and I'm off to home.

I didn't tell me mom that I'm going to UniTen Putrajaya cos I know she won't allow me to drive her car that far. But what the heck, how she expects me to overcalm my never-ending fear behind the wheel if I never experience a long distance drive on my own WITHOUT HER BY MY SIDE TO SHOUT AND YELL AT MY NECK!!!

Well, anyway, I wasn't so sure which way to take to go home cos its dark and I can't really recognize the way anymore, they all looked the same to me. Again, I just followed my guts and of course the road signs too. At every toll station, I never failed to ask the toll-person if its the right way to my destination. Again, thank God, I arrived just fine.

Had a fun day today... Thanks everyone...And Nard, thanks for the shirt.

Ross Gardiner...Would You Marry Me?

2010-12-25T10:02:00.000-08:00

Screw Ben Barnes!!! I wanna marry this guy!!!

Calm down El, keep it together...don't let your excitement blew the rooftop off.

I was browsing through Iona's Facebook profile and I found this video.

I know some of you might goes "That is so you El! Eerytime you saw a hot guy you will say... I can seriously relate to this guy'. Well, SCREW YOU! I am honestly can relate to what he's trying to say because its the truth! Not because he's cute or whatever (though I can't deny that is also a contributing factor) but because its FACT! I felt exactly the way he felt about FACEBOOK!

This is what I feel:

1)I hate it when I got TAGGED especially in pictures.

2)I do have hundreds of friends in my list but the one that really connected to me are less than a handful.

3) I don't know if anyone ever goes through my photos but I do know what people do when they go through other people's photos. They judge you, just like what this guy says. And they will say stuff like 'owh, look at that, she gained weight, her face is so oily, god! what on earth is she wearing, is that her boyfriend? He looked like hell on earth, blah blah blah'...

4) I am damn sure (with proof) that most people have been using FACEBOOK as an unlimited, borderless platform to STALK other people. It might occurred to you at one time or another but since you're so indulge in this virtual catharsis you decided not to take port and just deny that you are actually a STALKER or a STALKER in the making...

5) And what's up with all these stupid status-liners? Seriously? Do you have to documenting your every thought every 5 seconds? You seriously need help, go get help today.

6)) All those stupid NOTIFICATIONS drive me up the wall!

7) I do get alot of friend requests from people I hated at school. But approved it anyway just not to let anyone down..or to let them see how well I am doing in life now...God, that is so FAKE!

8) FACEBOOK makes me feel miserable about my life. Seeing all those people doing well in their life and I'm still stuck at Jengka doing a course nobody knows about, nobody cares about. FUCK! But at least they don't have all the free time like I do (a tiny voice inside the head just to make one feel better about one's life)

9) This Ross guy, he might look like a drug addict at first, but Oh Boy, did the world rejoice when he smiles..

10) The truth is I was just staring at him and the way he licked his fingers, not at what he's written in the paper and I have this weird feeling that he's staring back at me as well...weird.

11) Is it just me or he look alot like Chris Wall, the frontman of Air Traffic?

12) God! I am sidetracked now.

Anyway, thats all for today. Actually, I just wanted to write about the guy cos he's so cute he caught my attention... and I seriously can relate to him...

Merry Christmas

2010-12-24T23:53:00.000-08:00

I don't celebrate Christmas but for those who does, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. May this Christmas brings you joy and happiness.

Wow, this means I have less than a week or so before starting the new semester. I still can't believe I managed to finish it all. Three years my friend ain't no short time, so much pain and so much hardship I have endured and persevered. I have God, my parents as well as my family and friends to thank to.

I hope to be provided such perseverance and endurance for years to come. My wish for this new year is to able to achieve my life long goal and to excel in life and to be someone my parents can be proud of. On top of that, I also wish to keep all the friends I have now as well as to make more new friends in the future. For the year 2011, I want to be an optimist and I want to see and experience life like I never did before. No, I'm not talking about drugs...come on!

I also wanna be financially prudence, lose some weight, find a boyfriend as hot as Ben Barnes (lol), make my way to Glastonbury, continue my studies in Ireland and that pretty much it... Hope to achieve all that next year...(sarcasticly)right...

Later

2010-12-23T04:42:00.000-08:00

I know I promised I'll write about my plans for next year but the thing is, I haven't got any. I mean I have a rough idea of the outlines but its not complete yet, but I promise once its done I'll write about it.

I just checked out my class timetable for my final semester next year and it is brilliant! I'm loving it! No night classes (well, I haven't got any since my freshman year), all classes finish before 6, only Monday and Tuesday starts at 8 and God knows how much I hate to wake up early in the morning, after lunch, no class starts at 2 anymore, its whether at 3 or 4 and the best thing is, there's only one class on Thursday and Friday, that means more time to go home lol. Overall, its a good deal. More time to relax.

If the timetable is not subjected to changes (well, it always is) I'll be enjoying my senior year to the max. Since it is my final semester, I don't have to attend any campus events anymore. I hope this new semester will treat me well. I sure don't want to experience the same drama and the same shit like the previous semester all over again. I want to leave the campus with good name, good reputation and most importantly, good memories.

Highlights of 2010

2010-12-22T02:49:00.000-08:00

Since we are on the verge of the New Year's dawn, I feel obliged to recap the main highlights of my life in 2010.

I managed to finish both my fourth and my fifth semester of 2010. The fifth semester was the toughest one in my opinion due to two Biology mini projects that we had to carry out and all the dramas that followed. Also due to the tough-like-hell Internet Programming subject that I had to take to complete my credit hours. However I am thankful that I didn't flunk both subjects and I get an A- for both. It could have been worst and I was actually expecting for worst.

I was elected as one of the ExCo (Executive Committee) of PERDIPSA (Persatuan Diploma Sains) Club for April & July semesters of 2010.

These two guys were my accomplish. I didn't contribute much and I admitted that but I treasured every moment that I get to work together with the Club. It taught me, if not much than definitely something about how Club is ran and how to handle events, how to work with other people, how to listen and give comments about others' ideas and most significantly, it taught me not to expect anything from others so you won't be disappointed.

Got my driving license, something that I have been denied for, for so long and after a few extended tortures and heartache I finally got one.

Organized a dinner event for the whole Diploma in Science students.

Bought my first digital camera

Cut my long wavy hair into a bob

Bought myself Burberry Brit Sheer

Repainted my room

Had my second niece whose name given by me, yet again...

Marissa Zulaikha

I think thats all that I can think of right now. Well, nothing out of the ordinary. Just usual stuff but definitely worth mentioning.

My next post will be about what I hope to achieve next year...

I'm Missing You...Ya Know I'm Such A Fool For You

2010-12-21T08:04:00.000-08:00

I'm still so beat up about cutting my hair. I miss my old long wavy hair. Looking at the bright side though, my hair now is a lot easier to manage. When I wash my hair I don't have to wait for 6 hours to let it dry, now it dries less than half an hour. I guess that's the advantage of having short and straight hair.

Bad thing about having straightened hair is that it gets oily very fast and I am forced to wash my hair every single day. I still have hair fall problems but much lesser that I used to so thats a good thing. And the new shampoo products I've been using really work!

But I still miss my old hair...

My old hair the night before I got it cut..Miss you baby...

Your Mind Is The Scene of The Crime

2010-12-19T09:03:00.002-08:00

I wanted to write about this movie a couple of weeks ago but keeps stalling. However, this movie, as far as I'm concerned deserve a great review. Hence I'm writing what it truly deserved.

To me, 'Inception' is the best movie of the year, no I changed my mind, the best and the greatest movie of the century! Way, way, way better than that of 'Avatar' and I said this from my humble opinion and please don't harangue me for that cos everyone is entitle to their own opinion.

Packed with lines of talented, award winning actors and actresses, 'Inception' excelled to fulfill the needs of catharsis that we all have been longing. The storyline has completely revolutionized the idea of typical Hollywood's action movies that we had indulged ourselves in for many years. I will give 5 solid, fully loaded gold stars on the storyline alone without hesitation.

It was just something beyond imagination, beyond common-sense and it made my jaw dropped in awe. I was thinking to myself how could someone came out with something so brilliant and turned it into a movie so that everyone can take a look and share a piece of it. The movie made you think outside of the box and took you to a journey that can only be possible when you are sleeping and dreaming about it.

Who could have thought sleeping can be used to achieve objectives? Who could have thought sleeping can help you alter some life-changing decision? Most of all who could have thought you can brought along your accomplish to be there with you in your dream. The idea is outstanding but like a human that we are, it does have some flaws. They failed to make me understand how they managed to relate between one layer of dreams to another. They also failed to explain how they manage to remember what to do next in order to pursue their objectives from the previous layer of dreams. Because as well as you and I both know, when we are sleeping we are in the state of subconscious and thus that made us incapable of deciding what to do next let alone remembering them.

Or maybe they did explain how and perhaps I missed it along the lines. Overall, its a great movie. I felt terrible that I didn't watch it at the cinema because it would have been a great experience. I would definitely and highly recommend this movie because if you haven't watch this one then that means you would miss an experience of the best ride of your life on-screen that Hollywood could ever offer.

King Henry VIII

2010-12-18T03:23:00.000-08:00

Despite of my last post, in this post I am actually very positive or at least thats what I'm trying to be. I can't wait for the new semester to start cos it'll be my last. Finally, I am the senior of all the seniors...hahaha, does that even make sense?

I can't wait for a new year to come which means new resolution, new direction and definitely new intentions to make life worth living. Anyway, speaking of which I'm running out of space in my external hard disk. It seems that all the things I've downloaded couldn't be fit in that thing anymore. Now I am re-managing my files in my old man ( my laptop) so that I can store some stuff in there. I seriously in need of a new external hard disk if I'm going to start downloading 2nd season of Glee and the 2nd, 3rd and the 4th seasons of The Tudors and the 5th and 6th seasons of Grey's Anatomy and the 6th season of Supernatural (yea I know, that series just keep coming back and I just can't resist it) and the 2nd season of Cougar Town and the whole seasons of How I Met Your Mother.

God! I think I'm in love with Barney. That guy is way way funnier than Bobby from Cougar Town. Anywhoo...talking about TV series, I know I might be a little late but I came across a reality TV shows called The Bachelor recently. The show is played as re-run in Star World channel. I remembered that the show was a hit when i was still in high school but as ignorant as I was toward overrated stuff, I couldn't give a rat's ass about it. Now, when I finally came across it I was stupefy and absolutely flabbergasted. Not only because the bachelor is one hell of a hot fella but because the plot and the storyline are simply preposterous!

I find it rather immoral and completely nonsense to play with someone's emotions and feelings just to make a show. I don't know about them girls but I think rejection is humiliating enough to oneself but now lets get rejected in front of national TV, if thats gonna make it any less embarrassing. I mean come on, who he think he is to get to choose the girl and hurt a whole lot of others along the way? What is he King Henry VIII?

This is really unsettling and makes me sick to my stomach. I don't wanna talk about it anymore. But of course I just can't deny that the bachelors are very easy on the eye...lol

Yea, I'll Always Be Waiting

2010-12-16T23:17:00.000-08:00

I don't know what I'm gonna do next after finishing Diploma. I know I've said before that I wanna do medicine but I have my own doubts. I mean my result last semester wasn't all that impressive and I don't think my total pointer is sufficient enough to be able to do medicine.

I wanted to further my studies oversea. I have always been wanting to do just that but it is not as easy as saying it. Its like no matter how hard I try I will never achieve it and that, I tell you is heart-breaking and frustrating.

I wonder when my life going to take turn for the better? The way I see it, my life keeps spiral downward and there's no stopping to that. I know I've said this before but what the heck, sometimes I love to repeat myself over and over again just to make a point. When I see some of my friends who manage to study abroad, the feeling of self-failure is just so overwhelming that I found myself all covered with it and felt miserable about my own self.

Then I start to ask myself where did I go wrong? Why do such opportunities never came across me? Will there ever be such opportunities for me? Is it worth the waiting and all the hard works? I'm gonna turn 21 in less than 3 months and all these questions come flooding my mind every single day. You don't know how horrible it felt to know that you don't have any answer to any of your questions.

I know some of you might think 21 is still young but I think its ancient and knowing that I have done nothing significant so far makes it even worst. I pray to God to give me strength so that I can keep pursuing my dreams and my goal cos God only knows how close I am to the verge of breaking down and giving up.

D.I.Y

2010-12-16T07:32:00.000-08:00

For those who don't understand the acronym, D.I.Y means Do It Yourself. Since I have spent quite a large amount of money on beauty products, I've decided that perhaps it is best if I dye my hair on my own. So, I bought Revlon hair dye for 20 bucks and colored my hair using my two hands and a pair of hand gloves and a fine-tooth comb.

The color that I picked is strawberry blonde. I picked the lightest color they have on the shelves because I know by right that the color won't emerge exactly as promised so if I choose dark color I won't see any different. Hence, I choose the lightest color to blend in with my dark color hair.

The result....wait for it (just like Barney from How I Met Your Mother)....

....

Its AWSOME! I'm LOVING it!!!

The color isn't too bright, it looks like a brunette instead of a blonde and that is exactly what I want. D.I.Y wasn't really all that bad, saved me some 120 bucks for a trip to a hair saloon. Maybe, I shoud do D.I.Y more frequent. Can help me save alot of money...

P.S: This is my 200th post!

Don't Mean To Brag

2010-12-14T07:52:00.000-08:00

I just spent about 500 bucks today. Money that I didn't earn, money that I know I should have keep instead, money that I lied about to my mother. Well, my mom and the whole world know how a nightmare I can be when it comes to money. I think i need an intervention, like a life-changer intervention to fix this.

Whatever it is, I'll deal with it later. Now, I wanna talk about my day. I'm so excited to tell about things that I bought that I wanna write about it straight away eventhough I am exhausted right now.

The rendezvous taken place at Mid Valley 11 in the afternoon, so at about quarter past 10 I took the train from Klang to KL Sentral. Took me about an hour plus plus to get there. Then waited for Che Pora to arrive with her sister and her sister's German friend, Natalie to complete the pact. Had our lunch at TGI Friday.

Keyla & Hananoi

Che Pora & Natalie

My meal

Honestly, there will never be a 2nd visit to TGI Friday ever! I don't enjoy the meal. I just think it is too expensive for a common-taste meal. Nothing wow about the meal, I couldn't even remember the name of the meal I was having. And for the first time after so long, I didn't even finish my meal. The only best thing about TGI Friday was probably the service. The service is definitely world-class service. Very friendly and happy waiters they have in that place. Still, I wouldn't recommend it to people. I would rather have my lunch in Secret Recipe than in TGI Friday. For 5 people, the overall that we had to pay for the meals was about 50 bucks each.

After lunch, we headed to some place to buy me some hair products. I never heard of the brand before but they were having a promotion so I thought I wanna give it a try.

For these two things, another 70 bucks flew off.

After that, we headed to what would be the most tiring and exhausting hunt for the the right perfume I ever been in my entire adolescent. And it also would be the most expensive perfume I ever purchased so far. I've always wanted to have any perfume from Burberry, so practically I sort of have a direction to what I want to find. The problem was with Che Pora, she didn't know what she wants. We tried out for about 50 different perfumes from 50 different lines of brands and nothing struck to her as the right one. I grew weary and angry after times. I spotted a set of Burberry Brit Sheer at Metrojaya and thought I went and ask. I feel in love with the smell and the packages but thought it was too pricey yet worth it. After thinking about it and of course after imagining how furious my mother would be, hell she haven't even stop nagging about my hair and I'm sure she'll be crazy if she knew I was going to buy a RM333.00 perfume. But then, I just closed my eyes, took out my money and paid for it. End of story! Now I have the perfume I have been wanting since forever!

I bought it because I thought it was a great deal. Along with the 100ml perfume, there are also a shower cream, a fragrance body lotion, and Burberry pouch. I just thought if i didn't get it this time, I will forever be thinking about it. Now I have it, I feel so happy. I didn't buy this perfume because I want to brag about it and to show to people that I can afford such thing cos I can't. I bought it solidly for self-satisfaction. It was just something that I want very much and I just wanna know how it feels like to finally have it.

Che Pora wanted to have a Burberry too but Burberry The Sport which I think really amazing and very unique but she went for Lancome Miracle instead. To sum up the whole shopping spree, I bought 2 bottles of shower cream from Body Shop and a sponge as well. Cost me about another 40 bucks.

The outing ended at 7 pm or something. Che Pora sent me to the train station. I don't wanna talk about the hardship I've been through at the station. I might save it for another day. Anyway, at home I forgot to dispose the receipt of the purchase. My mom came across it and now she is giving me this silence treatment that I just can't bear! Dang it!

Here's a couple of pictures from the outing;

Me & Natalie (the transfer-program student from German)

I Promised, Mother

2010-12-12T11:18:00.000-08:00

I made my mom very upset today. She wanted to go to Langkawi tomorrow but I refused to follow. I had a plan with some friends and I do not want to be the one who blew it all up. My mom, she been wanting to go to Langkawi island since forever and tomorrow suppose to be her only chance for a getaway vacation but I told her to go without me but she refused.

I'm sorry mama, I never mean to blow up your vacation. But i tell you what mother, I love you and one day if I make it big, I will pay for your vacation to any place you want to go. I promise you mother. You just spin the globe and point your finger to any location, I'll bring you there.

God, I feel awful right now for making my mom upset...

It'll Grow On You

2010-12-11T05:30:00.000-08:00

Still complaining about my hair. So far I've gotten a few mix comments from people. Some said its nice some said its not. What I'm trying to do now is live with it. The damaged is done, there's nothing I can do about it so I might as well just take it and start to accept it cos that's all that I am capable of doing now.

Intan said its alright. Its still new and its just something different, something I never done before but it'll grow on me. Of course that will take time. But to tell the truth I kinda start to like my hair now... I know I can do this if I am confident with myself...Why not put the picture of your new hair in FB you asked? That will take more time to do...I'm just not ready to reveal myself to the whole world just yet...

I really need to change my hair products immediately! Probably next week during the outing with the girls I'm gonna roam both Guardian and Watson to find a good hair products for straightened hair. I don't want to end up like many straightened hairs out there looking dull, static and lifeless...that'll be my worst nightmare ever!

What's Going Down Mate?

2010-12-10T06:48:00.000-08:00

Its been sometime since last time I was here. I wanted to write about a few stuff days ago but I just let it slide away so that I can hoard everything up and write about them one shot. Hence, this going to a hell of a long post. Just bear with me dear readers cos its worth it...lol

The first thing I wanna talk about is my hair. Yeah, I cut it yesterday and I straightened it as well. The biggest hair transformation in my entire life! And guess what? I'm not loving it! No I'm not! I'm hating it! I think its hideous and horrible! I feel so much regret that I did it and now I'm starting to miss my old hair! Why do I have to cut it? Seriously? God! I don't even want to put a picture of my new hair in here...

Second, my final exams result. It just came out today morning. I see that the university decided that it is best if they just send the results via emails. More convenient than asking some 120 thousands students all over the nation to log in to the main website with poor server just to view their respective result. I don't mind if they have a super, heavy-duty, anti-clog servers, well they don't and us students are always stuck on server jam and have to wait many hours to be able to log in to the main site just to view our result. But good news, we can just receive our results via email now. Its a good thing, really. So, I woke up this morning and check my emails and there it was, my result. Well, it wasn't what I expected. I'm not satisfied with it but I'll live. A slight decrement from the last semester and my mom went ballistic. But it was a tough semester and I just feel glad that I'm still in the Dean's list.

Third, I'm thinking of buying a new laptop. My old man (my old laptop) is fine and still kicking and rocking but I wanna new laptop. I just saw this one cool Sony Viao, I've been wanting a Viao since forever. I am negotiating a deal with me mom and see if she wants to settle for a 50-50 deal. If I can get this Viao, I'm willing to forgo Burberry and Aldo that I've been planning to buy. I really would.

Index Number	:	MC0708/3081
Name	:	ELISA FARHANA BINTI OMAR

BAND ACHIEVED	:	4

Test Component	Maximum Score	Obtained Score
LISTENING	45	32
SPEAKING	45	42
READING	120	93
WRITING	90	52
AGGREGATED SCORE	300	219